Saturday, April 29, 2006
An all StAyHoMe DaY -_-
yesterday. wahahx carol called twice about maths... i didnt mean to sound reluctant to answer though... but then my dad and i were "betting" whose call it will be for... because while mum went out, there was like almost 5 calls already wahahx... and so i was saying its definitely not for me... and it was, haha carol for a maths qn that i didnt even do... i think she will really excel if she bothers to do her work and study really hard... seriously... lol
watched changjin for like half an hr only?? 1st 15mins i was trying to be done with sec1B chinese... and because it takes at least an hr for me to settle down, im so not efficient in studying larhx... and i hate that kind of must study, dont mind studying, but just cannot keep focus... hahax
today. okay short and sweet i got to go soon... my mum larhx... haiz... finally managed to make her go away... hahax, erm okay today's abit boring but suppose to study what... anyway my study today is so not efficient... im always doing something else... i managed to complete the emaths part and currently doing bio... suppose to do chinese sec 2a later... and then slack all night... tmr is geog haiz... no rest... like real...
i spent an hour on the piano today during one of my sidetrack moments... and about half hour on the guitar, wahahx... im too used to a all musical day on saturdays... i miss going to church suddenly... anyway guitar lessons stopped for first semester and Youthfellowship too, because of everyone taking midyears... dont know why got so many O level students in church dis year... haiz...
the other problem is i feel hypocritical... very.... when im acting all cheerful and noisy and hyperactive... when deep inside, im freakingly thinking... about a dozen stuff that run through my head... nothing very negative but burdening that's all... i got to get rid of it soon... hopefully... otherwise i cannot concentrate on midyears... (i have the dumb thinking that i have alot of time to study! what the...)
just came back from dinner out... and i suddenly feel like listening to 'All About You'... used to have a old-fashion impression statement of it... and i deleted it off my music folder, wahhax... so lame... and now i feel like listening to it... its cheerful tho... and i was listening to music all morning... woke up at 8plus... and almost settled down to study... when i was asked to go fold the laundry with my sister... i dont mind seriously... i somehow dont mind doing anything today... that's weird yep i know... and i ironed 18pcs of clothes... for fun... whahax, im crazy... ok gtg
becca (: ♥
7:49 PM
Friday, April 28, 2006
HaIz... im speechless?..
well, just came home from taking the Aus sci test... quiz?
whatever, because in my opinion, its either so not Science related for some qn... or that Singapore syllabus is kind of small and dumbb enough for Australian kids... whahax...
ok i feel stupid actually, but the worst of all, is the demoralising chem revision papers mrs teo gave us... i dOnT kNoW hOw To Do...
okay i was thinking about stuff as i made my way home... being alone is great for thinking but what happens if one thinks to muchh? that is a big problem... but it also depends la...
i like to think as if im blogging... i dont know why... but, it comes in words... whahax, so i guess i have really alot to say today actually... and most often, it comes out with nothing to say... too much=nth...
well, summarise la eh... the crappy part first... its better to speak nothing when you have nothing nice to say right? so i shall cut out that fiery part larhx... although i have lots of nasty stuff to say at one part of the day...
im just pissy today since morning, so i shant judge too much and rebuke so much too... so i gave up arguing most of the time... ok here's what izzit (and its hard to speak ur mind and not disclose too much in a blog!!)
i hate it when you think its funny... joke is can joke... but please know whether others can take it or not... on the other hand, this isnt the first time, its only a very thin line between real jokes and harsh facts made out into a joking form... okay, i tell you now, if its meant to be laughed off as a joke, some entertainmemt? (familiar?) i dont like it, and am in no position to like it or sit it off... but if its something made big from self-prophesizing... i really am in no character to accept it... for a moment it maybe for fun and some life from nothing at all... but for another second, i seriously dont like it... and be lucky i didnt say it too straightforwardly... firstly, im not the straightforward type lol... and well, i just dont like that kind of "humour sense" okay... so much about your own crapp rather than wanting to listen to reality... that is why i often end up with... "fine, go ahead and believe in whatever you choose to want to hear!" seriously, i am very irritated at that point of time... after all most of the time you rather hear yourself speak... go home for that ok... for fun awhile is okay with me... but not after i meant enough...
the next thing is... not so much that your influential skills that i dont like... but when people around you dont realise that they forget themselves after joining in the fun... i dont want to create an argument but keeping less noisy about it, doesnt mean that im great with this matter... dont you realise i am not so uptight to everytime i kena pangsehed?... ok this crapp has to endd... end-of -crapping
sometimes i wonder ignoring the gloominess of something is faking my mood... and running from reality...
well, friday is the day today... and i planned to wake up at 6am even i confirmed to pon sch le... but i slept at 1am (so not my usu unless i burning midnight oil hahax) and the bed was too comfortable... whahax, so i slept till 8am and took my sweetest time to do stuff... and the i practised chinese sec1A... still got sec 1B, 2, 3 (maybe only)... oh wells, im so unprepared...
ok and i had breakfast while doing chinese... and then i went to bathe and then did ss the essay homework... as planned, i wanted to clear my homeworks i owe but never get nagged on la... this feels like tertiary... teachers wont nagg wahahx... although im used to the nagging at home, that its like a nevermind thing... i wont really grumble but i know of people who cannot stand nags, wahahx... and i still have a long way to go to clear all my hw...
and i worried for bio... if not, why did i choose to go school!?! i didnt plan to go for assembly only, so fun ar? what the... lols, frankly speaking i was thinking about bio and how the last two periods before midyear would chandra finish the plant reproduction chapter... and so wonderful, i was late for literature lesson which was not the focus of my idea of coming to school... but people see it as i came for assembly... whatever... well,
but the other half of it was because it occurred to me yesterday night that besides bringing back books to study... i must clear the table too... who knows what happens to my books the next time i enter the classroom like two fridays from today? and so its a must that i have to come school, besides having some social life, out of the books... lol thank God chandra came in the last half hour... otherwise i did be really a freak to come school and waste time... waliaox...
assembly was a bore, seriously its not worth coming to school, but the other reason is i didnt want to go for pe... fitness test = cramps... and then i will be happy cramping up during midyear exam mann... *okay its raining now, perfectt*
and there was the New South Wales... wahahx, its dumbb... and lets not talk about getting pangsehed or not having a mind of my own... i know that's what you want to say ok, i know its in your mind all along... i need to have a mind of my own and am born with that mind... everybody's thinking is different therefore our arguments of different views... and so if you just want to show that mind of yours is strong, think it your way/ your view... i dunkaire! everybody has their flaws and i am willing to accept yours too but seriously, do you accept others? everything's just a joke to you whether you meant it or not... okok enddd-of-crapp
and now back home... i gonna study later i mean hopefully soon... haha i didnt have a proper breakfast nor lunch... and i hope to have a proper dinner... because im hungry, hahax... ok i hope to spend time wisely too... wahhax, haiz i still have to do chem.geog.chinese... thats the level one of studying yet... still got to go refresh my memory lehhs... i miss my past good memory... im forgetting everything now... ms chionh speaking of her photographic memory (although it sounds braggy) but i believe... because i had it before but i lost it since sec1? i dont know what happened... but i only asked for maintaing a normal memory... whahax some say its morphine effects or sugared stuff (carbonated drinks)... haiya i dont know la
*my sister teaching junhui now, whahax... she's gettin pissed too... and i think she can be a good teacher... very illustrating wahahx, used the pot my mum using to cook dinner now... to explain condensation all that... whahax, but she's abit loso sometimes...
**i love overhead bridges... since the one we crossed at selegie road, after watching Zathura @ Plaza Sing... wahhax, at night the effect is better... sounds suicidal but not la... i dont mean that... the headlights/the height/the sounds/the dark nightsky... whahax, its nice... daytime also... to go tuition and going home or mrt to home... i have to cross overhead bridges... wahahx tiring but great too... the one at tuition is kinda steep? lol, and its nice to watch cars go under... lol im insane
*** i want some choco to liven up my day...
****i want to live my life uncontrolled... the way i choose it to be... i am not going to be caught in between by what you want to describe it as... and as much as what you think it seems to be... i do have a mind of my own but i dont have to be decisive always right? well, its against my character hahax... and well, i do have my own decisions but you chose not to see... just because you didnt think my way doesnt mean im wrong too okaes... and i do have my limits as much as you do have yours...
why is it that some people can brag everyday and yet people think its fine... and maybe funny... and yet grumbling of failures is absolutely understandable... but when im really happy and shocked that i did well... they think i brag alot and that every failure is bragging too whereby im not allowed to faill? im not allowed to feel sadd? im suppose to be that quiet figure?!?! and that each time i said i didnt study enough or something regarding that, you wont believe and i find myself having to say the same stuff all the time... and in the end, it "must" conclude your way for you only get to understand things your way... whatever mann...
... GO AND GIVE IT A THOUGHT... i have had enough... and know things will repeat all over again-- maybe be okay after some time... and then it falls back into crapps again... and when i cannot stand it... i speak... and then maybe okay after another long while... i have my flaws i know, but i dont like this cycle... i want this to endd...
*****saw a familiar figure today... and because i know her so well (although we sort of stop contacting)... i can make out who she is even if i havent seen her in ages... whahax, hope to hear she's loving life... hahax and besides i only saw her back... but i just know its her plus her mum and her mum's babysitting baby... wahahx... long time no chat, sounds like communication block for 2years? dont know la, going to have dinner lerhx... *yummiex*
becca (: ♥
4:26 PM
Thursday, April 27, 2006
MuGgY mUgGy MuGG... stress!
okay erh its like roughly going to be midnight soon... and i just came online... wow, whahax... i dont feel like sleeping even though my body says im tiredd... lol, well im thinking about ponning school, and may eventually come to a decision of halfday, hahax... and its about 75% chance i may follow that plan... firstly i want to skip the stupid fitness test, especially when we are not going to be able to play ball games... and well, i am so not into having cramps during midyears, so i think i shall postpone my taking in that test, wahahx...
*and wells, im gettin frustrated with MLG... stupid cannot get in wan... great... haiz, nvm
yesterday wed rained too and i was slackiest of the week... all i did in school was 'tryin' to pay attention, catch up from stuff i missed out... get frustrated over not studying... and sleep all the time... or keep quiet or get crazy... and come home to laze about again... i didnt even study larhx... i wasnt in the quiet mood to study... that's why i said i needed discipline... ahhax, i do have some kaes, but its so conditional... wahhax
oh and i was thinking about this blog too... bloggers are suppose to be frank right? and i really wished i could just type everything out here, sorts out my thoughts too... but because of human nature, there's just going to be such a restriction... even racists get caught... you never know... but of course, that's the other extreme...
today's thursday, quite a great day... nice start for a rainy session in the morning though... the rain was seemingly 'light'... like real... i only knew that it was pouring when i stepped out of the doorsteps... it was sure cold but getting irritated that my sister takes her sweetest time to get out of the house, i got pissed and forgot about needing a jacket... lame sia... so i was freezing in the car, the air-con... but not worse than those who got to go school on their own... hahax, so many people were wet mann... but the hall was warm... lol.. erm so i got rather busy today... for i was in the mood to clear homeworks, finally... so i finished bio and chem... just now, maths... i feel great mann... but ive still got a long long way to go... I NEED TIME! therefore, im gonna pon halfday tomorrow... most probably... because bio i cannot miss... the last lesson and i'll be dead if i do... i think i have to worry about maintaining rather than improving... crapx... and hey to me studying is like got 3 parts de... 1st: finish with the notes, it stops me from blindreading... 2nd: memorise all that i need to/just get it into my head can liaox... 3rd: revision from ten year series or whatever crapp stuff...
after school, headed out of school alone... kena pangsehed again, anyway it doesnt really matter, because im in no mood to try make them understand what they cant ever try to... well, so i met yenfenn and then alicia and georgina... and then went to causewaypoint, and ended up with pastamania for lunch... u can guess who's idea mann... lolx, im broke... its nice and rather filling but i forgot to put cheese powder... dumbb! wahahx, how can i miss that out mann... and then alicia and yusong went to mos burger... and me and yenfenn went home... back home i got off-time for studying... thanks to my sista, loads of crappy stories and dumbb irritation... well, and when i finally got into concentrating... i got to go for a-maths tuition le... so i insisted on finishing maths first... i feel like doing only because i got guided answers from reagen, otherwise i'd be too lazy to ponder whether im right or wrong... i hate that kind of suspense! but im glad i understand everything liaox, need alot of practice that's all... something i will be lacking this midyears... haiz!
at tuition, i got back the dumb test wahhax... 20%... rawkz, i thought i will be in for a single digit but well, its just as badd though... audrey and shimin had the same score, wow so coincidence sia... this wont work out for midyr... it just cant! after dinner at the new coffeshop near NTUC, went home and did notes for phy and e-maths... im done with emaths n amaths n phy le... as in notes only... tmr will have to work on chem n bio... well lit is kinda hopeless? n its really late le, i got to get to bed soon...
~~ i want an older sibling!! wahahax, i know i will never have a biological one now... so nice to feel younger and ease away burdens of an older child... so nice to take revenge and pester/irritate the older one... whahax, but i dont want to be the youngest either... middle's the best... and well, i do have non-biological ones but still having someone older to talk to and play with is sure nice... so sadd, that doesnt include me having any... wahahx, i envy those who have but worst, those who dont cherishh... wahax
kkays... crapp more another day... niteZ (:
becca (: ♥
11:48 PM
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
midyears coming...
shitx i cant stop going online... im addicted to the com... not even the TV but the computer...
mon i really did not want to go to school... but had phy test and surprise english test... and my mum dont allow me to skip school when i haf tests, because so far ive managed to coincidentally skipped school on days that have tests... wahahax seriously i didnt plan things that way... so monday's rather okay
tues i did skip school... wahahx, it took me a really long time to decide... from monday schooltime to midnight to next morning... and i woke up at 6am, and i had a debate within me and with my mum... and finally im late for school... okay, the other reason which is seriously not a lie, is that my legs' are killing me... after kayaking, i had too much fun and got too hyper... well, so im having muscle cramps and whatever nots... they definitely do not rock ok... i can climb up stairs but cant go down... crappyx... okay, and well i was doing geog.amaths.chem... and im so not done with it yet... im just barely catching up... my subconscious learning is so not improving... hahax
then went to sch to put textbooks, anyways i got to go for chemistry tuition, so its like kind of near anyway... and ended up waiting for audrey, which is like so not worthwhile.. *oops* whahax, well tuition was boring... the new teacher has really good qualifications but no connection with us... sad attempts, and i really dont like the non-stop talking of the marsiling sec guy... i want to learn alkanes and alkenes and he craps about politicans... im so going to quit when im done with chem... CHEM ROX MY LIFE! whahax, i managed to pass the dumb test... i luv doing stuff at my own pace... im more efficient that way even if i cant complete a whole section... so im the only one who pass... so i topped... LAME! 42/80... wahhax, i rawk... my most disgraceful chem results in surprise... wad the...
wed i regret wasting time in school... but imagine i skip school the whole week... which i thought of but i feel really antisocial and a hermit? wahhax, well... so much for studying... i want to say that we must hang on together okae! we face it together and end it together... it should matter like life and death... wahahx, well... today rawkz because i managed to put aside any gloom... and stay cheerful... i like that but i really dont want to fake it...
lessons were useless today... very... and teachers also skip school... whahax, and i did yesterday's eng hw before recess ended but couldnt find ms seh... LOL... her locker is so not reliable... lols, n recess we had lollies... and there were 2 bdae celebrations today... kailing and imelda... not very close to them anyway... and well, there was about 2hrs <>
becca (: ♥
6:42 PM
grandma bdae @ Bacarrat restaurant 220406
i love my cuzzies... oops, gurls' rulz... cuz the guys are ANTISOCIAL, wahhax
jolene.mi.yiling.rach.puayfeng.puayyen (:
hmmx, its abit late to post this photo larhx... but over the years after many funny quarrels, we have grown closer... mostly the gurls... seriously the guys are so anti-people... wahhax... whatever, but im 2nd oldest although there are 3 secfours this year... whoox, we meet seldom, sadd right... but i brought a little surprise for jolene, and she's screaming, all for an autograph (csm help get de)... wahahx, just glad to see her happy...
i guess i officially shifted from frenster blogs le... i want to put some music, but i dont know how to and also i lazy to find out...
becca (: ♥
6:25 PM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Finally...
well i didnt think i can complete this so soon... still need some finishing touches... and i just use this blogskin because i think its quite nice... 1stly, its blue, wahahx... 2ndly, i like the rain effect... and well, after much persuasion to change to blogger... because im lazy to do these stuff... im gonna switch here from frenster blogs... well, i only wanted a place to type... hahax...
ok erm midyears coming... and i pon sch to study de okay... i feel that today's gonna be a waste of time at sch... although seriously, i dont mind going to school for fun... but im recently getting stressed and it seldom comes... so i betta do something in order not to freakout on 2 May... seriously, i have NO confidence in any paper... maybe one or two... but i know it cant be my best, HAIZ! well, im glad im quite done with SS, and i did amaths.geog.chem today... supposedly bio and chinese now... if i can cope... but ive only got an hour before i will go watch tv... wahahx, its all about discipline and judging how much relaxing time i should have... well, so jiayou everybody...
no time to crapp somemore, i will blog again when im free and when the computer is not as lack as yesterday... okay, got to go le (:
becca (: ♥
8:48 PM
i love my cuzzies... oops, gurls' rulz... cuz the guys are ANTISOCIAL, wahhax