*___ WiL u rEaLi B deRe __

Saturday, June 30, 2007
hmmz...

so after yesterday's issue...
here's the final deal...
-> 2 dinner-outs and 1 outing
max for a mth..
2 dinners are interchangeable for 1 more outing...
DIAOX...

this is so the tight!
and dinners' curfews are 10pm to be home..
while outings are unlimited hours as long as i'm home like 9pm!?!
wah siaox...

but i guess tts the best i can get le...
take it or leave it...
ARGHX!!!

ohoh btw, for that...
i have to be home for dinner by 7.30pm daily..
deal or no deal??
BIG SIGHZ...

oh and i think the best deal...
is that i get an EXTRA dinner out for thursday...
hahahax, i hope you dun forget!
IT'S PRINCESS BDAE! (:

*wadeva hahahx! anything...
dots to myself...

oh and Eugene Goh's bdae too!
yay im a nice fwen (x

===========

hmmz let's round off yesterday's ranty entry...
i guess its on the rough...

erm, i really cant forget wad happened...
but i guess i forgive my dad for saying stuff lidat...

haiz, after all im a leftBr too...
and because of insensitivity i guess...
only tt this time round im on the receiving end...

this yr is a special yr...
because God suddenly made me at the receiving end for alot of stuff...
some positive some negative...
but it's new to me,
thus i find them all nasty...

haiz, a learning experience i guess?
oh another thing i learned today...
big gurls cant stop crying once dey start!
lol! and 'big gurls dun cry' is so wrong hahahx!

yeah i guess just dont start something down a not so bright path...
if u cant stop yeah...
LOL esp getting lazy...
at least tts me for now... hahax!!

oh erm i got LOADS to do...
but just cant lift a muscle that says do ur hw...
somehow only the ones tt say, lets play o2jam/ watch some dvd/ jump and get hyper/let's chat for AWHILE...
starts working since day 1...

oh erm i dint go for web today...
because of yesterday, i had major head issue...
haiz yeah

eh oh yeah i have to blog this...
WELSON GT INTO THE NEXT ROUND FOR TEEN ICON!!
yay way to go!! (:
so sry i cldnt be there physically...

================

anyway, im excited about tmr...
cuz i get to go sentosa!!
i hope we will all have loads of FUN tmr!
hopefully not coming home as BLACKIES...

but oh well, i wanna play vball and go running ard...
and takes lotsa fotos...
and erm, just have fun under the sun!
oh tt rhymes hahax!

`YAY weall RAWK!

p.s. Glory to GOD for helping my frens' family to find a hse to stay temporarily! (:

becca (: ♥ 10:25 PM

Friday, June 29, 2007
haiz...

ok i have a crisis...
3 in 1!

1st things first!
FINANCIAL crisis
i am really really broke BEYOND BROKE!
i survived with $1.90 today (:
and cuz i borrowed 60cents from Sinee...
and i still owe Elaine $5...
and Jan $2...
ARGHX...
i HATE having DEBTS ok!

plus i spent another bomb on the cab on thursday...
$15.40
TTS MY FIRST CAB DOWN TO TP!
hahahax, graciie sure say cartoon LOL!!

BECUZ...
i thought FnB tutorial was at 4-6pm...
and presumptiously...
until i checked my schedule at 1.40pm...
and i was thinking, why do i sound so SURE!
den i realised it was 2-4pm!!!!
so i reached sch just on the dot, b4 i'll be considered ABSENT!!

---------------------------

ok let's go for a commercial break...
p.s. i think i saw Jon on the bus 168 just now...

no.1--> i dunno why he is seriously so DAO!
stare stare but dun even say hi or wadeva...
WALAU this kind of person oso have...

no.2--> wad on Earth is he doing in Tampines!?!

*WELL, im very sure tt i dint see the wrong person!

---------------------------

ok NEXT...
FREEDOM crisis...

im sure in a rebelling mood tonight...
may all REBELS gather tonight! (x

arghx... hey im sure im not tt out of hand...
yeah, im 16 u noe...
ok wadeva...
if u wanna restrict me/jail me...
wait till im 18...
u wont even see me at home ok!
I PROMISE YOU TT...

ok my dad just finished chiding me as i typed this few lines...
and as for this sentence "i dont want to face you when u're like facing the computer"
I DONT GIVE A DAMN...

anyway... here's the final statement...
i'd love u to pick me home,
and i appreciate it of course...
BUT IF U DONT WANT TO, U DONT HAVE TO...

i wldnt die out here...
though it's not safe for a gurl to go home late...
and i seriously dun like to either...
but den i guess sometimes i get overboard with fun....

-----------------------------------

now for the MENTAL crisis...
because it's kinda linked to the above...
now comes wad i have in mind now...

i have a damn lot of vulgarities in my mind...
and have yet to say my first F*** word...
dun piss me off i tell u...
im trying my best not to say that..
cuz particularly i reli HATE tt wrd, and pple hu say it!

ok here's the ultimatum tt made me reli shout out at my dad...
and tt i reli feel like shouting that word...

he called me a FLIRT for saying out late at night...
and im so not gg to forget wad he said tonight...
he said, he dont trust the guys im with...
but u noe wad it ultimately is??
HE DOESNT TRUST ME!
ISNT TT WAD TT WORD ON ME MEANS!?!
WHAT THE HELL...

ok sry, tt just sent tears running...
i shouldnt cry for worthless people...
SEXIST who only cared that GUYS are stronger and better than gurls...
tt they have nth to lose...
tt dey should have freedom...
tt dey noe better...
CHAUVINIST PIGS!
ok i noe this will be recorded one day...
how i dishonoured my dad in my blog...
im reli sad, but i want to remind myself of this... yesh!
the day a father called his own daughter a FLIRT!

---------------------

part II...
i have a great damn urge to just shout it out...
that i have my own life...
and my parents should have NO right to care 2 hoots...
sorry im bursting already...
i cant take it...
wad more do you want!?

i noe that i need to be guided...
but not PRESSURED like CRAP u noe!?

limits that i set my own??
so tt u dunt have to chide me!?!
I FREAKING DUN WANNA COME HOME!

this was not suppose to be when i came to TP...
i badly wanted to do HTM...
and i noe tt i still want to!
but shouldnt i try not be a hermit?
I CAN U NOE?
im a leftBr and independent too!
and those who call themselves MY PARENTS...
should noe that too...
but i realised both pros and cons...
im not DUMB...
i make mistakes too!
and i noe that i need friends too...
i've learnt tt a whole load more times already...
because of many other factors...

--------------------------

part III
im know i have loads of prob rising in me...
-> thinking too much
-> unstability
-> time prioritising...
-> half-commitments

im having a CRAP OF MY LIFE...
cant i just chill for awhile?

im damn lost...
i need to be picked up by Him...
someone that i still call Father!
but where is He?
im lost...

and i damn dun deserve to be picked up...
i dunno where to start mannx...

DAMN DAMN DAMN!

===========================

`BECCAplsstopthatTAP!

becca (: ♥ 10:10 PM

Sunday, June 24, 2007
REPORT FINISHED!!

muahhax... i finally finished the other half of my REPORT!!
but i still need to edit it i think...
though i feel so ever LAZY!!

im having a heavy head now...
from waking up at 6am...
and going all hyper from 9plus to 4pm??
hahahax finally TIRED!

today's YOUTH SUNDAY!! (:
this means the youth lead worship today!!
super cool u noe...

we had erm a meeting/briefing 1st thing when we were there...
and den we break up into our divisions...
and den we are briefed again by our ICs...

after putting our bags in a safe place...
we made our way into the sanctuary...
they started with some childhood songs!!
hahahx, all the cute cute action ones...
like 'With Christ in the Vessel!" and "Walking with Jesus!"
hahahx, memories of all those fun stuff just get me excited!

hahahx, yea so we had our multimedia presentation...
they did it really well, hahax professional video crew bahs??
den we had 2 short live dances...
and den msg by Matt..
and den we had to proceed downstairs to get busy...

ok enough of that...
but another thing to note... hehehx...
out of hyperness,

-> at youth sunday, hospitality crew, i suddenly became the handygurl??
(as in which ever part of the drinks serving chain line needed help, i just go and multitask... LOL super FUN!!)

-> at guitar class, i started gg totally NUTS!!
sry lah all those who had to bear with my siaoness...
i guess i just decided to go crazy before chionging my REPORT!
(ok i started talking alot of CRAP!?! nvm...)

=========================

the very interesting multimedia presentation was about 5 types of YOUTH nowadays...
i only rembr some...
erm the EMO, the COOL etc hehehx!

the message for Youth Sunday was about...
-> WANTING THE BEST, but GETTING THE WORST...
-> KNOWING THE WORST, and den GETTING THE BEST! (:

hahahzx, speaker is Matt, who literally illustrates everything for you to understand!

=========================

ok anw, my head's gettting HEAVY...
i gtg le (:
hope i can wake up tmr morning in time for POM hehehx!

becca (: ♥ 11:22 PM

a day with a tough choice

okay i actually promised myself to blog this in hahax...

erm i had a big bad day when it came to make decisions againnn!!
DOUBLE TT MANNX...

i hate it so much...
esp when im born fickle hahahax!
oops, but den i sort of grew out of it luhs...
but it came back again RECENTLY!!
DOUBLE ARGH!!

so here's wad izzit all abt...

i had to choose btwn WEB, Dinner with Grandpa, and Alice's church youth BBQ...

and all have their pros and cons...
worse still, i should have known...
calling mummy will only make her lay out the harsh facts...
den make me even more pressurised,
couldnt i turn a deaf ear?? LOL nvm...

anyway, i got pek chek that instead of doing my tutorials at Rafflescity...
i sat down at the fountain,
and STONE!
den i started crying...

den i took out foolscap and started doing it the LeftBr way...
i wrote the gd stuff and bad stuff about all 3 events...
and den i wrote down the OPPORTUNITY COST if i went to one of them...
den after writing as many pts, i crossed the crappy ones...
wadeva's left i tallied them...
in the end, WEB = 5, Dinner = 3, BBQ= 4...
but my head wouldnt go with it...
cuz it didnt mean anything...

den i turned the pg, and started it the RightBr way...
i wrote as much crap in it...
with at least 3-4 --> "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!"
hahahax, but oh well, u noe the ending...
it didnt work out, i still was lost, and i cried again...

den i stoned... and kip smsing and calling pple till my fone blasted my bills i guess...
at least i thought so, for today...
not about wad to go for luhs, i can do tt myself...
i think... LOL
i called to ask abt the programs for each activity...

den i started walking towards the MRT after 1hr of stoning...
and then i suddenly STOPPED...
i dunno where to go...

den i stoned at the station for a long while before i finally DECIDED!
wooh i LOVE tt word!! :P
den I'd go for WEB den leave as early as possible to meet Jan at Tanah Merah MRT...
and FYI to ALL readers, hahahax...
i blasted my pocket on tt CABBIE FARE of $18.30!!!

HAHAHX, i AM so NEVER gg TO take A cAb AGAIN!!
-i hope-
cuz i owe this $20 to Ginny!! (: thnks so much!!

and den i proceeded first, cuz Jan would be late...
*sadded*
den the msg was a life sharing plus skit...
oh before tt was some LAME games...
no atmosphere, just like the 1st day of freshmen orientation!!

yea and den dere was Darrell and Sin Nee...
we met there... Alice brought us all there (:

and den we had BBQ... hi potatogurlS hahahx!!
and den oh my dad came to fetch me and jan home!
hahahx, im tired and happy (x

========================

something i learned today...
after being stagnated with Him for awhile...

TRUST
isnt easy because you cant see Him, non-tangible!
but oh wells, you'll find His presence there, here, everywhere...
NOT just in the Bible but everywhere, LOOKOUT (:

yea, i didnt think too much of the msg at WEB's today...
because i had alot on my mind...
such tt i blindly got into a train tt took 20++ stops to bring me to church...
rather than another with about 15+ stops?

oh if u wanna noe...
i got pretty irritated with myself...
and basically God too LOL...
because i had make this crap decision...
and i was like WHY CANT U MAKE IT FOR ME? SINCE U NOE WADS GG TO HAPPEN!?!
but oh wells, i knew i had to make it myself, cuz it's the process that counts...
but badly, u just reli wanna get out of it mannx...

--------------------------

oh wells, yea i got pretty fedup with this commitment thingi...
because if i dun go web today...
means i wont get my WEB tshirt and hand in my consent form...
means im not part of helping the Youth Sunday...
which means ultimately, tmr i wont have a crap to headache for...
cuz i can just happily go church and go guitar lesson...
where i dunnit to think so hard about how to make schedules MEET!!

oh mannx, but it's like i will SO BE LABELLED IRRESPONSIBLE!
because i broke this commitment, yeah...

so tts the point --> COMMITMENT OR WISH?

but if u rephrase into follow ur HEART OR BRAIN...
duhh, pple will say heart...
but it reli depends on the condition of the heart mahs...
so SUBJECTIVE (disqualified)...

haiz, i was so desperate to make the decision tt i promised myself...
the next person i meet that i recognise...
im so gonna ask the qn... ->COMMITMENT OR WISH!!??
hahahax!!!

ok point is, i was really kinda mad at God...
cuz i hate new things...
and right now, im trying so hard...
im new and im serving already WOW...
it's like walau can...
i felt so FAKE to think about it...
i didnt have a mind of my own!!

haiz, anyway...
here's the final statement...
im not serving anything/any ministry wadsoever...
UNTIL i reli get through the phase of feeling like being an invisible Christian!
which in layman's terms, means to reli finally settle in luhs...

yea i hope i can hold my cool and stop blaming Him for everything that happens...
in a way, look it in another angle/view luhs...
haiz... help me!

`BECCAcriedwhilemakingadecisionLOL i-canT-believe-it!

becca (: ♥ 12:02 AM

Friday, June 22, 2007
msia + vivo...

THURSDAY

i made a tough choice okays!
i did love to do Changi Youth Ambassador very much...
and not some irresponsible person who included my name for FUN!

but i guess queueing up to be interviewed to become part of the 30...
is really fat hope LOL...
not that im so not confident, but i guess it's the Opportunity Cost that im looking at...

because otherwise, i get to spend a day in JB with my fam and--

-> watch Fan.4: Silver Surfer

-> SHOP
( unfortunately i was reli LeftBr tt day... i didnt wanna risk buying anything nice just to become a white elephant hehex, cuz after being BROKE for awhile, you'll UNDERSTAND!)

-> observe how Msia is bucking up in the law!
(suddenly everywhere u go... on the rd or in the building, the police is taking BIG ACTION!! walaux...)

o-o-o-o-o----------------------

Story 1
we witnessed a 1st hand incident of confiscation of pirated goods in the Holiday Plaza in JB!

it's like the whole shop was raided and nothing much left...
and the poor owner couldnt do anything but watch...
meanwhile... the other shop owners have already alerted the others...
people hurried to close their stores...

in 5 mins... an alley of stores could just close up for the day!!
WOW!!
but not every store lah... just the alleys...
NOT EVERYTHING IS PIRATED LORX!

but then there are alot of people standing outside the shop getting raided...
and at least half of them were shop owners bah!

and there was this family who passed by that store...
and the dad brought his abt 10-yr-old son in...
and asked the plain clothes police officer...
if he could buy a belt!! WHAHAHX!!

anw, my fam was watching from the 2nd flr...
yea hehehx, KPO

o-o-o-o------------------------

Story 2
ohh and this is a got-to-tell...

the whole day was like a reverse day...
as if we were playing some dumb "LET'S REVERSE" game!!!

hmmz, 1st thing...
we woke up later than planned...
and by the time we went to the car...
dad found out that the car was not working...
so we had to call the service man to change the battery!
*reverse no. 1-- we went back, up to our home and waited for the car to be fixed!"

and since it started off crappy,
i thought it would turn out to become a bad day...
but oh wells, it was filled with laughter instead, so i guess it's not so bad...
like a game!??

den we went to the checkpoint...
just on the way past the petrol kiosk...
we rmbred our petrol amt was below the limit!
*reverse no. 2-- we U-turned to get a petrol refill*

den we went INTO the checkpoint...
we were allowed to pass by policeman no.1...
and we passed the policeman no. 2 who suddenly wanted to check our car...
DOTS... his reaction was like SLOW lah!
*reverse no. 3-- we had to reverse because he was super not happy... tot we DAOed him!*

den we went to went to citysq and holiday plaza to shop and windowshop...
i was super sad, because of the price and the sizes dey had...
haiz...
ok tts besides the point...
dere were more REVERSES definitely!
but i forget some le because dey were not as significant as the dumb 1st 3...

oh btw, we tried the HK cafe over there...
diff company + WOLS service + EX!!
ohh and i had choco fondue!!! (:

I THINK THIS DAY IS ALL THE MORE WORTH IT THAN C.Y.A.! hehes

=======================

FRIDAY
hmmz woke up at about 8.45am...
got changed and sneak in 20mins of HAUNTED MANSION movie
(my fave movie other than WINDSTRUCK, when in sec 2, 2004!)

and den hurried downstairs to meet daddy...
he drove us to VivoCity! yay (:
den we shopped for groceries at Giant...
and went to CandyEmpire to get racheal's JellyBeans and some choco for me (X

and den we were FAMISHED!
cuz we dint haf much for breakie, wad more a late lunch!!

so we had our usu bowl of fish soup at Food Republic...
and hahax, as usu...
i like to throw in as much chilli as possible :P
and i had like tons of chilli padi and samabal chilli in my soup v.v

and oh well, we went to Thomson Med Centre to meet mummy...
i slept in the lobby while waiting...
and after waiting for abt 2-3 hrs??!
we finally took a cabbie home...

watched finish Haunted Mansion...
and cleared out the ANT NEST in my jewellery box!
(F.Y.I., thnks to racheal who always likes to leave sweet drinks in our rm!!)

and den washed ALL my jewellery, dried, and DISINFECT THEM!
and neatened up my table...
oh btw, must disinfect, because my dad put ant poison in my jewellery box!!
wahhahax EWWWW!!
my goosebumps come up when i see the tons of dem...
DEAD at least...

======================

sat and sunday is pretty eventful for me...
let's see... wad m i worried abt, or thinking abt...
at least right now...

WORRIED
->how i havent polished/cleaned my piano baobeii!!

->my 2 tut/2 lecs/1report on my table undone!

->how racheal is getting so ADDICTED TO O2JAM... tt it's causing crap at home...

->how i cant reli priortise my time, but at least im neither addicted to the tv nor O2Jam...
(maybe the comp luhs hehehe!!)

->how i havent shop enough to get my shorts,fbts,offshoulder,causalslippers!!

OTHERS
->how i wanna showoff my newly polished accoustic HEHEHEX!oops...

-> how i need to practise both accoustic n piano... HAIZ!!

-> how will my wkend turn out?!?

-> how to make schedules not crash?

-> how to define priorities n wants!?! i badly need this!!

-> how to SAVE $$ arghx!!

======================

gtg now byebye (: happy wkend everybody!

`BECCAsmiles

becca (: ♥ 7:12 PM

Tuesday, June 19, 2007
zilra chalet +++

SATURDAY

grplesson
it turned out not as great...
but i was super GLAD tt it was finally OVER...
but to think long term, i have only 2 mths lidat to chiong my exam pieces!!!

and erm at i was relieved that it didnt turn out that bad either...
though i expected myself to play better for my Nocturne!!!
because i spent 4hrs on piano for all my pieces the day b4...

to all readers,
*LAST MIN is NO GOOD!!*
though it probably causes panic & work shrinks with time limit...
so u put all ur brain juice in!
but then in long term, it's SO NOT GG TO WORK >.<

---------------

WG @ convenant
then we took taxi to WG...
cuz we were reali late!
ok and we met some frens there...

overall the youth service was ok...
apathy INTO activity
i've learned a new Eng word...
(apathy = DONT CARE)
->"siam!" responsibilities
->"zai!" to be on fire for HIM..

but den comes the youth Sunday preps...
erm i think nothing's wrong...

but whahahx, im like the oldest in the hospitality crew??
and i cant do befriender, at least i think so...
not because im scared, but pls... IM NEW!
neither usherer, im not ready...

ok i'll carry on abt this alittle later in this entry...

================

SUNDAY

church service
mummy was in breakthrough wkend...
i took the opportunity to say that im gg to join dad in service...
cuz we're NEW...
and den skip senior Web...

esp when they said its impt because i've to choose a ministry to serve in...

------------------

Zilra Chalet
this is the fun part...
erm i mean of this entry...
it wasnt as fun as i've hoped it to be...

i wanted very very much to go NIGHTCYCLING...
and apparently, no mind thought alike *sad*

not a single soul rented a bike!
and though i noe tt pasir ris park isnt the ideal speed-riding destination...
but i was deprived i guess?

and oh well, i only ate 1 chicken wing and half plate of beehoon for $6

and den, we spent most of the time cam-whoring?? (:
but i felt that i didnt take gd fotos...
because most of them were on ourselves...
and i took 96 fotos hahahax

but den, not a single whole grp foto...
*sadded*

and den my dad came to fetch me, jan, alice...
i was kinda sad tt i dint get to meet grace, elaine and e rest...
because dey took such a long time to get to the chalet...
even when we left at 11.30pm...

sry im a deprived gurl who cant stay in chalets without parents.. ):
but oh well, when i tried to recall so hard...
abt the other time i stayed in coasta sands chalet...
i suddenly rmbr the last 2I chalet!
the one that i was late for Thai mission preps...
i actually STAYED OVER!!! (X

one day... i will again...
at least my dad promised me (:
"once in 3 yrs" tts what he said...
and i WILL make him KEEP his PROMISE!

*i dont feel like posting any fotos today...
because i just started emo-ing some dumb issues
which i guess, has successfully spoilt my day today...*

=======================

1: im very much trying to revive my relations with God...
but oh wells, it's really really very tough for now...

there are stuff i wanna do very much too...
and a clash apparently hits this Sunday...
and if i had not have due respect for Him...
i will so really BLAME Him for it all...

i really wonder if it's the right step to commit to serve in Youth Sunday...
it's really harsh on me if u will use ur brains...
i dont know how to express it in here without screaming...

but oh wells, i guess it's just being in a new environment...
and keeping silent about this change is indeed a very good progress alright!

part of me misses my old church and people in there...
but those weren't like as if i will die without...
because there are many other complications in there...
but yes this is it, i feel like a fish out of water...
and trying very hard to grow lungs...

and then once again...
i feel like blaming Him...
if it is for us to go there...
why somehow, wont u make schedules and stuff NOT CLASH!?!

ok sry, but this really makes me wanna cry...

====================

2: i really wanna go Malacca..
to relax or something... this week...
with my fam...

AND YET... i reli reli WANNA JOIN "CYA"!!!
that is the Changi Youth Ambassadors...
and why did they have to like open to the biggest diploma group...
when on about 30 will enter after 2 rounds of interviews!?

i guess i wasnt good enough for PaceSetters...
hahahx, after all the competition is like CRAZY!

but then, right now...
im pulled in btwn gg to Malacca with my fam on Thurs...
or gg to sch for interview...
because if i dont, i will be kicked OUT rightaway...

oh mannx, i HATE MAKING CHOICES!

=====================

3: i was really sad to hear that my frens thought that youth fellowship gatherings were only for HOLY people...

that's precisely the disease with
"holier than thou" attitude!!

im really very sad on sunday when alice invited Zilra pple to go have fun at the bbq...
because many people feel that christians only want to force them into what dey think...

(i dont know luhs...
i finally have to blog it out...
i really need to air my thoughts today...
otherwise im reli gonna stone like much of yestdy...)

and then, i feel so helpless u noe!
God, why, what, how did it become like that?!

and then i rembr why i sort of cried one day in YF...
while still in NLBPC...
when it was Christmas and we gathered in the YF room for sharing and stuff...
it was in Dec 2 yrs ago...
Joanna said she felt sad that tsunami people died without knowing God at all...
and den i had an incident in mind...
nothing to do with tsunami people, just my frens...
but yet i feel so helpless...

and den i dunno luhs...
dere's nth much i can do to change perceptions i guess...

but God doesnt condemn YOU until judgment day!
and NOBODY deserves the right to judge u accordingly either!
and NOBODY is HOLIER than ANYBODY!
we are all the same, SINFUL as long as we're humans!
not even pastors or popes or whosoever, because they are still HUMANS!
and they ERR!!!

define HOLY?
u read the scriptures a million more times,
and put ur Bible in the most sacred part of ur home...
that DOESNT make u HOLIER either...
u scream verses into people's ears,
when dey interpret something else in their beliefs...
that DOESNT make u HOLIER either...
it's wad kind of life that u live that speaks LOUDER...
than ur self-perceived holiness!
and i guess HOLINESS is not for us to judge,
only the One above (:

i believe that alice was equally sad too...
and anybody who's understood wad i said...
and any Christian who understands, will tell u the same thing!

i dunno lahs..
maybe after this post...
if some people read already...
may get defensive or
may like create many more silent friendships...
but i just needed to tell u this is wad i think (:

Thank God for letting me tell u this today...
and for releasing half of my thoughts right now (x

`sincerelyBECCA

becca (: ♥ 11:40 AM

Saturday, June 16, 2007
piano craze!

haha ok it's reli late...
and my head is somehow spinning...
i think i concentrate too much when i practised my pieces just now...

but oh well, it's a miracle how long i practised today...
because i really dont wanna throw face at group lesson tmr...
okok i mean TODAY in 8 hrs time!!
hahahax

ok right...
my pieces are like momentarily satisfactory...
but i really hope i dont floop later...
because i practised like i've never did in a long long time!!

hahaha funny thing is i like to practise at NIGHT!
ahhahax, i played from 11-1am (:
*cool*
lucky nobody crash my house...
hahahx...
but oh well, now i play until my fingers can feel the skin is being stretched!!
exactly like playing guitar lah!

hahax, and it's like i practised for 3 sessions today lahx...
and the 1st 2 are about 1hr each...
and the last one is like 2 hrs, muahahx!!!

okok dun crap le...
i need to rest my spinning head...
if not, i will sure play crap for tmr!!

NIGHTS (=

becca (: ♥ 1:57 AM

Friday, June 15, 2007
okay new day! =He Cares For Me=

ok today is another new day!
mummy went to Batam early in the morning...
LONG BEFORE I WOKE UP hehex!!

but i think today is one of the most productive days lor...
because i've practised piano for at least 1hr plus...
ok actually time doesnt really count to me...
i think how much i've covered for each piece, matter more LOL!

hmmz, my Chopin Deux Nocturnes is getting better ONLY AT MIDNIGTS!
sry lahx, cuz got atmosphere mahx... and it's like SILENT (x
hahahax, i dun reli care if neighbours crash our windows ahahhax!!

and my Prelude and Fugue...
is getting LESS HOPELESS yay (:

but dun talk about my Allegro mannx!
it's like reli reli URGH HOPELESS!!!!

AND GREAT! i've got piano group lesson TMR!! morning siahx..
and it's like im freaking out le!

======================

so i did devotion...
hahax twice a wk...
not too bad for lagging bahs?

yeps and i learned new things (:

1: God sees the HEART, not the outward APPEARANCE!
2: In God, we have VICTORY! (sounds familiar eh? thai trip)

anw here's a song for all God's children!
and THAT'S YOU! (:

HE cares for YOU
*just a beautiful stanza for YOU*

He rides the wild heavens,
He strides through the seas;
The high mountains tremble to hear His decrees.
His voice with great thundering sounds from above,
But to His own dear children,
He whispers His love.

His power is great and will ever endure,
His wisdom is peaceable, gentle and pure.
But Greater than all these glories I see,
Is the glorious Promise that He cares for me!

hahahx sweet right??
yeps that's really God!
otherwise i'd be reli like hopeless by now!

=======================

anyway... i'm going to be a goody girl today...
i'm going to start my fieldtrip report proper! (:

okok tts no news...
but i'll try finish it today...

and den try to save abit of my Allegro from embarrassment tmr!
oh and it doesnt mean that my other 2 pieces are pretty hopeful lors!
haiz, just LESS HOPELESS >.<

========================

just another thing...

Erika asked me to serve as keyboardist in worship yesterday...
and my day really got stuck in time...
dunno lahx...
but i'm new there, and not ready for it...
yeahx, so i dun think i'll serve there as yet...
-stress resolved-

i feel that at covenant...
the pple dere has internalised that...
at anywhere, anytime, however wad...
we still can worship Him...
it's just AU NATUREL!

and at newlife...
the pple dere comes with discipline...
and formalisation...
that we must come before Him formally...
because of due respect!

it's 2 really different perpectives...
and none should be judged as WRONG...
because both have good and bad qualities bahs...

so yeahx, i've been wanting to say this for a long long time!
ok -stress resolved-

piano (on my way)
- stress not boiling up as yet but SOON-

sch work
-stress regularly boiling on halfway mark-

not staying over for chalets
-BOILED OVER already *sadded*-

ok i gtg out now (:
to my frens who are BROKE too,
dun sad k?
we save $$ together (:

`BECCAbackontrack, bit by bit!

becca (: ♥ 11:02 AM

Wednesday, June 13, 2007
blogging in fotos! random

CHEERS!
our memories of that Thai Mission Trip 2006
let's not forget how GOD worked (:

<3>

yeshar! my fave foto too
koped too hehex (:

+ saluting to HIM, and His Work in all our mimes +

back into our childhood!
we have BECCA & CHERYL &amp;amp;amp; GRACE & BECKY & RACHEAL
(foto koped from dan's cam i think)

SEEFA! (blue group) @ the hostel in ChiangMai
oso koped foto from Aunt Li Chin! but i liked this foto loads too! (:
reli cute and innocent!!
i only rembr the middle one in YELLOW is TANAPO (x

=========================================
FOOD!! 120607

the very TOWERING STRAWBERRY SNOW ICE WITH MILK!
(marinasq) HK styled desserts! $6.90
i seriously think HK has nice western desserts :P

the very very YUMMY FRENCH TOAST!
HK style (: $3.90

=======================================
TO THE PEOPLE I LOVE (;

BECCA & RACHEAL! sisters (x
we went to find dajie @ work in the esplanade!!
AND we were LATE... hahahax
so i didnt get to check out on wad kind of flowers she's gonna supply me for my 21st bdae! :P

EDITH & BECCA & PAM (x
these are people i really miss seeing every Sunday!
ahahax i cropped out JARED!
because he looked grossly-gothic with his half-removed drama makeup! :P

CY & SERENA & JAN & BECCA

hmmz, i koped this hehex..
but i edited it cuz it looked dull to me hahahax!
one of my fave fotos siahx!

ALICE in the wonderland & BECCA!
we're at Campus crusade welcome tea @ Alumni's lounge (:

SERENA & BECCA
FO outing to Sentosa!
cam-whoring while waiting for the tortoises! :P

this is SERENE & BECCA @ tp openhouse!
seriously i think her shirt's really nice! hahax (:

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

some fotos... hehex...
i just felt like posting some...
almost felt quite random, so i broke it up into theme hehehs!

anw, just a random thought...
inspired by my sister's craziness over SESAME BABY! (her hammie)

"Is it torture or treat to a hamster, to play with it 3 times a day?!?"

well, tell u wad, i reli dunno but it sounds like TORTURE to me!!

irony is that i think racheal cared too much for this hamster le...
a newsarticle said tt hamsters exposed to light for too long will grow tumours twice as fast as those who arent...
and she really put newspapers over the cage to block out sunlight!

okayx.... and den yet she takes it out of its cage...
and wakes it up from sleep...
TO PLAY WITH IT! for a reli reli LONG while...
so i wonder if e newspapers make a diff... :P

anw SESAME bit her 3 times le...
(recently i mean)

=================================

anyway, im busy trying to cope with hols!
haiz... on days where i thought i'll waste it...
i somehow meaningful made use of it!

but on days whr i thought it's gg to be packed meaningfully with HW!
i did nth efficient enough! HAIZ

and eh YAY (:
racheal says that by the time im 21...
she'll be 18, and will be able to SPONSOR---
*drumroll*
(cuz it's a rare statement!!)
FREE FLOW OF FINE CHOCOLATE
for my 21st bdae BALL (:

*hu wanna go!?! (:*

with SPONSOR of FLOWERS of all sorts...
by Char DAJIE (:

*i really really hope my DREAM 21st bdae reli reli COME TRUE! (:*

LOVE BECCA...

becca (: ♥ 8:33 PM

Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Proj day 1 + ECP chalet

YESTERDAY(mon) hmmz...
woke up at 9.40am and reluctantly got nagged out of bed by my sis!
she's reli funny mannx...
the way she naggs people out of bed i mean --
she will use soft toys to tell loads of dumb stories!
and loads of tickles and MADNESS...
until i finally get out of bed,
otherwise THIS RELI COULD GO ON FOREVER...
since she even dealed with 40mins hahahax!!

ok, anw i think tts the deal abt rightBrs...
oops here's me with rightBr and leftBr again ahahha!!
reli wad, rightBrs gt more imaginative minds...
and eh, can tell non-stop descriptive stories?
out of nowhere?!?!
*good for entertainmt if dey want to i guess?*

o-o-o----------------

and i got to sch half hr late for proj mtg LOL!

and den we had lunch shortly because sihui's lappie had bad internet connections
and so we became lethargic hahahx

i felt like slping the whole time mannx...
sry mannx, but i did crapp abit too hahax!

oh den we took 15 and 966 i think...
to EastCoastPark!
and tts for 1H05 chalet lahx..
and i kinda longed if it were 2i or Zilra de...

hahahx, dumbbb...
but oh wells, i finally got dwn to some SPEED-RIDING...
oh mannx, my stamina lagg le!!!
so sad lahx... but at least i dun get leg aches...
only butt ones! ahahhax

hahahx, cannot help it lahx...
i havent been riding in a long long while...
and i cant speed ride with any of the bikes at home... >.<> BBQ @ Kleon's house

limits but probably considered as outrageous to parents for gg out for 12hrs...
but im satisfied and think it isnt tt horrible to go hme slightly earlier--> 020607! one of the most fun days on Earth!
we went to MarinaSq and Bugis Street, hanging out with Zilraians!

but prob is...
i dun understand why my dad is so biased against gurls' freedom!!
oh mannx, he will purposely say... "if u were a GUY, den MAYBE!"

WALAU!!
and guessed wads in for me?
mummy: no staying at all (forever?)
dad: ONCE in these 3 yrs... (: (oh my gdnes?!)

and den i dunno lehs...
if my day is gg to be ruined by gg-hme-early & no-stayover restrictions...
I RATHER NOT GO FOR ZILRA CHALET!
it only makes me stone in there...
haiz... funny how i said tt sentence above so easily lol!

anyway, shall see lahx...
i'd probably meet them up and hope my day goes weellll...

SOMEONE! beg me to go? hehehx...
i feel like being spoilt :P

==================

i am spoilt for now...

i dun feel like lifting a finger to do anything at all...
i just feel like rotting away...

when dere's like umpteenth reminders yelling out at me...
(wahahx, all of which are from ME!)

-> pls practise ur piano, u have a grp lesson to throw face for if u dunch!

-> pls go polish ur moulding piano and ewwy grossy accoustic!

-> pls go do up proper research for ur InHT, u're like some lazy grp leader for ur fave subj lehs!

-> pls STOP SPENDING $$ LIKE WATER, cuz u dun own some rich man's inheritance!

-> pls shop more LOL, but only wad u can manage to iron them... hahahx

-> pls STOP GETTING ADDICTED TO THE COMP! like wad u're doing NOW lol!!!

-> pls stop ROTTING and finish ur used-to-be-interested-in field trip report... *diaox*

==================

kk gg to visit DAJIE at WORK @ Esplanade!! (:
and watch Shrek i think...

best joke on Earth...
my fam planned to watch Fantastic 4 tonight
(which im not tt keen to...)
and den we realised tt it's only in the theatres TMR!
DUMB AND DUMBERER!!

becca (: ♥ 11:44 AM

Sunday, June 10, 2007
PIRATES!! (X

ok im here to blog about 2 shows i've watched recently...
mauhahxhx, those who have heard my story u can skip the front of the entry mannx!!

========================

NO.1 = PIRATES (POC): AT THE WORLD'S END!!
*yay*

whahax...
i thought i would have to end up going to the theatres all by myself...
really lorhs damn sadd...
all my frens pangsehed me haahhax...
cuz i either couldnt make it or had exams or stuff...

somehow, Jill decided to watch a movie since we had to meet up to pass her the surveys
*wahhax, im efficient-- thnks to Elaine and Zihui too!*

and den Jill said "anything but Pirates"
i was like " nothing but Pirates!"

wahhahax, somehow i won (:
and she DIDNT REGRET WATCHING muahahx...
good taste :P
go along with music, u're never wrong :P

*I JUST REALISED TODAY THAT, EVERY SINGLE MOVIE/SHOW I WATCH IS BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC/SOUNDTRK!!"
hahahax

and uh oh...
i guess u can determine who are hardcore Pirates' fans OR Pirates' MUSICS' fans...
when u ask ard who watched the ENDING'S ENDING...
(the one after the credits)

MUAHAHAX!
cuz i did (:
and cuz me n jill wanted to stay through to hear the songs during the credits
and we were pleasantly SURPRISED lah!!
"10yrs later..."

0-0-0-------------

wahahax i dunno lehs...
but i found the movie cryable...
LOLs, in other words i did lah...
but oh wells, it's quite sadd wadd?!

ok eh 2 sad parts and 2 COOL part i can rmbr...

Sad 1: the awful truth when Bill told Elizabeth about Will's circumstances of choice...
tts like reli sadded can, because it's like one victim trying to give hope to another victim of this choice...

Sad 2: and when the truth takes place... oh mannx, sadded!!
10 yrs then can meet 1 time oh mannx... wahahax u've got a hint about me LOL
but yeapx, at least on the brighter side, it means to treasure wad u've got and look towards that "day of reward"!

Cool 1: the way Will and Elizabeth got married! LOLS, it's like stylo lahs!!
okk i noe tt i dun have to spell everything out (:

Cool 2: husband and wife is like commanding one ship each...
i found it like an incredible stry can! but oh mannx, think about it, it's like awesome!
sounds like Legend of Zorro! (x

=====================

H.P. & GOBLET OF FIRE

hmmz, seriously im kinda tired of the socery and gross-looking devilish images...

and sometimes i watch just for the MUSIC lols!!

but this time...
i learn something new...

STOP LOOKING AT THE SURFACE LEVEL PUHLIZ!
it's just a show/entertainment for that matter...
unless you're like really weak/helpless/craving/in awe when you see magic LOL
and i find that reli silly... :P

but HEY LOOK at it this way instead!
the theme! the character of the show?
LOL, nono i dun mean to act cheemo...

hmmz, there's many learning pts if u wanna say...
but wad i saw was the part that Harry is rooted in his morals!
IN WHAT HE BELIEVED IN AND WHAT IS RIGHT!
and i believe with his circumstances,
i myself may not have made the right/straightfoward/brave choice...

because we 'crumble' under pressure...
and our own WEAK thinking!
and on sat, the youth service...
the speaker talked about crumbling under pressure...
and i couldnt quite connect to any particular situation...
but today i just did... shant elaborate in here...
but anyway, it reali showed me that im that WEAK!

and that particular theme of the show just gave me closure to this...
that i have to be rooted in what i believe! and no matter wad!
which believe me, is freaking hard to be like that...
though it's just a show, but it's like an analogy tt sounded real to me i guess?
hahahax HAIZ i've gots loads of tt to think about...

=====================

muahahax, i've got an INCREDIBLE DREAM!
been ringing in my head all through today...
wahahax i told mummy before...
and i super know it's SUPER DUPER MEGA IMPOSSIBLE!!

hahahax... sry lah i think very far le...
but was thinking about my 21st bdae! :P
i want it to be commemerated as a BALL!!
A MASQUERADE?? wahahahx, sry sounds so PHANTOM-Y
lalalax!!

and then, i want there to be all my friends!
from all different walks of life!
everyone dressed like super formal-- gowns and suits OH MY GDNESS!!!

and den we gonna have LOADS OF FUN!!
and den maybe live band??
whahax, and den we gonna do phantom songs!!
and den SO ON AND ON...
oh mannx im *siaox*

hahahax dajie say she's gonna sponsor my FLOWERS!! (:
tts if my princessy dream comes true though...
cuz it's gonna have to cost LOADS OF $$/TIME/PLANNING etc.

======================

ive got a whole lot of things to do...
and i believe before i knew it/ before i lift a finger (if i cont to procrastinate)
2wks will be gone...

and my brain just aint into proj/tut/fieldtrips for now!
HAIZ, big time prob!!

i hope tmr's InHT works out to be productive mannx...
haiz... i hope i do a gd job as a leader of my fave subject!

hahahax, kk im one happy gurl today...
"in terms of LAUGHING GAS!"
ahahhax! i havent stopped laughing since lunch!
reason due to the pple im surrounded by! LOLS
kk GOODNIGHTS (:

`BECCAwannaHVaBALLforHER21stBURFDAE!! (X

becca (: ♥ 10:55 PM

Friday, June 08, 2007
MIDSEM'S OVER! V.V

mauhahahx MIDSEM'S OVER!!

wahhax, wait...
spoil mood abit first...

i think my rht and macro die until cannot die already...
hey, i was in the mood to study rht ok!
just that it is a crappy subject,
and it doesnt like me either...
cuz wadeva i study doesnt really come out in the BIG parts!!!

oh but i luv pom n fnb!!! (x

pom is because i only study 2 chapt...
AND only that 2 chapt came out mostly wahahhax!!
shiok, eh but this is BAD influence and definitely WRONG thinking!
because i believe that tyconess is limited...

pls rembr this!!
and i reli believe that God is merciful that i didnt study enough...
and He knows best why i need this results and practically all the WHYs tt im yet to noe of!
*not tt i have confidence tt i'll score beautifully... haiz*

fnb! eh i studied really hard for this one ok!
it's really a miracle how i hung on for this subject, unlike the rest!
i still like InHT better! but this subject is not bad either (x

everything i noe i noe... everything i dunno i really dunno!
like it's really straightforward tt u cld just finish e paper in 20mins!!
because it's reli black n white!
and i luv fnb now, because unknowingly everything's internalised...
i think i'll pass, hope i get a beautiful grade! (x *diaox*

but point is... though i took countless no. of breaks...
i studied for today's paper for at least 5hrs! until 4am lehs...
slpt 3 hrs and knew i would die the next day...
so i said a little prayer that He will help me slp efficiently (wahahx in my terms)

*i reli missed slping efficiently u noe, ever since Chiangmai, i havent been slping enough even if it's 12hrs!!*

and guess wad, 3 hrs felt like just right!!
i could last till now! ahhahax...
here's about today-- I TRAVELED ARD SG IN 1 DAY hahahx!

->wdlands-tampines (go sch take midsem fnb test!)
->tampines-pasir ris ( on e way we stopped by for B&J's Dublin Mudslide!!)
->pasir ris-sengkang (go zihui's hse for O2Jam hahahx, 15mins only)
->sengkang-clementi (go mark's hse for lunch and games with WG)
->clementi-wdlands (HOME SWEET HOME!)

i took all NEL/EWL/NSL! pro right? and burst my ezlink bills!

===================

HOLIDAY SCHEDULE!
*if u want me... u better book me early... LOL!*

here's wad i wanna/have to do---

->5 proj (rht/macro/commsk/inht/pom!)
->1 touchup fieldtrip to NYNY (plus report!!!)
->2 tut hw (rht/pom)
->3 lec/tut reviews (fnb/pom/rht)

->3 piano exam pieces + LOaDs of scales
(B4 I THROW FACE @ GRP LESSON!)

->at least warm up on my acoustic again...
(b4 i throw face on Sunday!)

->write my personal testimony for translation for Thai class!!
(past deadline le!!)

->POLISH my ROTTING baobeiis!!!
(piano/guitar!) sadded!
*ohh!! and get the tuner to tune my piano b4 exam!!! arghx*

->2 chalets! arghx *sadded*
->watch Pirates!! and Nancy Drew (21stjune coming soon)
->shop for my-sold-out-offshoulder!/shorts/fbts/tops *haiz*

now at least u noe my holiday quotas!
arghx...
i shant pose my day-to-day schedule le...
cuz i think nobody will rembr either...
blehx, they'll still plan stuff when im NOT FREE!
so nvm... i shall just HOPE (:

---------------------------------

BECCAwantstoSCREAAMMMintoYOUREARSSSS!!

becca (: ♥ 8:12 PM

Monday, June 04, 2007
HIGHNESS to LOWNESS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JANICE H!!!
YAY SEXY SEVENTEEN! (:

these will tell it all (x
LUV SAT!
rocks my wurl ahahahx...
hanging out with my zilrara frens before midsem!
cool right...haiz... now im dying... ):

LURVE THEM!

JOHAN.BECCA.SERENA.JAN.GRACiiE.CY.ANTHONY.SUNNY!
steamboat @ Bugis...
WE RAWKZ! ZILRA RAWKZ!
(erm, sry CY i dunno why u became a blackie!
whahax, i guess Ang-Dao-Ni blocked too much of the light...)

US! need we say more!? (:

CHANGYONG.ANTHONY.GRACiiE.BECCA.SERENA.JAN (:

GRACiiE & BECCA & JAN!!
pwincesses ahahhax.. wadeva
at least we had fun on 2nd June 2007!!
LOVE U ALL (x

CHANGYONG aka Ah Gong & SERENA aka MUMMY!

BECCA & CHANGYONG (x
also another pro! but full of crapp! :P

ANTHONY aka the pro & BECCA! (:
He can literally be starred as Phantom!

GRACiiE & BECCA! (x
she and her 'Endless Stry' hahahx nice one!
-----------------------------------------

BECCA doing Inht field trip tinggi at AMK NYNY!
LOLX, and this is taken without me knowing, by PAM!!
and it looks reli dots writing stuff in a restaurant like NYNY!!

BECCA JOLENE RACHEAL
(princesses-cuzzies @ wedding)
sry i dun even noe who's hahahax!!

Another Zilra foto on Kai's bdae!
after spiderman 3 (:

us @ grp proj doing POM in the lib?
Sihui's face is like random funny...
we couldnt stop laughing after tt...

QingYing, my GL!! (:
@ Kleon's house ar!

cutey SCRUFFY!!
(not Kleon's doggie)
@ Kleon's hse for BBQ (:

becca (: ♥ 7:28 PM

Saturday, June 02, 2007
miss my frens (:

hahahax actually i dun intend to blog until i come home tonight...
but then i thought of this, den i feel like bloggin wahahx

on thursday...
after piano lesson...
i was contemplating whether or not to drop in on my frens...
they were having Family Sports' Day at old SiLing sec campus...

and i had to think ALOT ok...
the pros and cons...
worth while anot...
got so fedup trying to decide...
cuz i noe if i dun go, i'll sulk...
and if i do go, i'll have to face some paparazzi
(ok tts wad i call it when pple just kip coming to u for ans on how u've been doing... and u dun reli want to entertain dem)

eh yea, and plus i didnt pre-inform my mum...
hahahax

so it's like i think VERY LONG ok...
den in the end, my legs just brought me there...
to church opp to eat lunch...
until i nearly forgot to buy tt detergent for mummy!!

muahahx, ok lah...
den i thought about wad im going to do..
how long im going to stay...
should i just forget it!?

haiz... but some how i still went...
i went cuz i want some huggiex!
and cuz i missed my jie and mei!! :P
touched not?

den yeah miss them LOADS!!
but oh well, i guess its just diff alrdy...
nvm... den dith not feeling well...
so i got stuck dere...
cuz must pei her mah...
her face so pale lehs...

den i kena chased home le...
cuz i gtg study before my frens come to my house...

YEPS...
so the point of this post is...
THAT I MISS YOU EDITH AND ALISSA (:

yeah i miss BEL and i miss PAM and i miss my nice warm FAM dere!

and yeah the part in me which made the paparazzi nothingness...
was tt i went there...
to PROVE to myself and everyone dere who cared...
that i have relational ties dere...
and i still TREASURE them... (x
but that's just as far as it goes...
relational...

`BECCA luvs her FRENS jie mei
ooo ONE BIG FAMILY! ooo
whahahx

becca (: ♥ 10:16 AM