*___ WiL u rEaLi B deRe __

Thursday, February 26, 2009
HOLIDAYS ((:

SURPRISE!

Royal Carribean Liner--
LEGEND OF THE SEAS ((:
...omg even the name sounds cool & nice...

Becca & Rach + SuperStar Aquarius
that is sooo NOT a poster!
hahas we were in a ferry frm Msia going back to the ship (:

Presenting to you...
Super Star Aquarius

hahas i do have this thing for ships & planes (:
LOL, however i do have motion sickness...
so dont ask why... :X

oh wells, so what's with the pics when i rarely post photos at all!

muahahhahs, i took damn long to find a gd pic of that Legend ok (:

Fieldtrip-
Cruisetour + Onboard Luncheon
@ 10.15am-2.30pm @ 28th Feb
dresscode smartcasual..
for FREE!

omg, i'll never dare dream of going onboard an RCL...

ooh much less The Silver Whisper that Mr Fernando worked in before...

OMG! hahahs all-suite vessel siah :X

sorry, i just had to share my excitement with you lol!
i'll bring back photos i promise yo!

but whether i get to upload onto this abt-to-crash computer is another thing hahas!

===========================

.
finally im blogging.. again..

hahas, i think my life's like pretty eventful for 18 yrs manns...
idk if its gd or bad, or perhaps its just a perspective (:

oh wells, let me touch on somethings...

1) STUDY WEEK..

lol i think i slept half of it away...
like about 12hrs for the night,
after lunch another 3hrs till dinner...
in between studying here and there...
while noting the latest TV prog...
now ive a list of progs-to-catch from Mon-Sun
at least 4hrs a day LOL

2) JIRO's autograph lol!!
hahhas, jiro & rainie & hu yu wei came to CAUSEWAYPOINT to launch their new show...
ai jiu zai yi qi
.
i saw the advert and i didnt believe...
not that im like siao over showbiz ECs,
although he's really quite cute, but his hair haiz LOL
but i really didnt think any celeb will wanna come to wdlands lahs!

so went over to check it out,
and before i know it, im like studying inside the waiting area LOL~

.
ok fine, cuz ive never been to an autograph session can...
so i decided to just be crazy this once :P

spent like 6hrs waiting for them to come lahs!
hahahahs! quite fun actually lol!!
made a new friend, Xiu Ling (:
no worries im not siao over him yet, but he's quite cute luhs (:
oh wells and he squeezed my hand can :X
.

oh and i watched the 1st episode of that show liaos...
i think it's quite nice ((:
Channel U @ 9.30pm @ SAT :X
i think im in OTC refresh for the next eps >.<

3) EXAM- Club Spa rocks!!

srry just had to put that remark ahhas =P

hahahs, 2 days in a row i wake up at 6am like never in the past wk before!!
follow my dad's car and reach sch by 7am or so...!

it's hardwork ok... :X

though at least i managed to eat breakft for twice, and watch tv while waiting for the others... ((:

i have an extraordinary lifestyle i know lol!

Accounting paper is sooo super DEPRESSING...
i really thought i knew everything i needed to know already...
but then i cldnt finish the paper DOTS, so wads the pt...
and spotting qns isnt easy ok, although i know how to do...
but slowed thinking doesnt help either when time is not on your side... :X

Clubspa paper...
totally no motivation after Accounting...
but Elaine dragged me to study with her on a 7am-reach-sch challenge...
fine, i was punctual enough to sleep @ mushroom until THE STUPID SPRINKLERS woke me!
thnks! so ive been writing notes from last wk till the very moment i had to go into the exam hall...
imagine after the paper (like Lit essays), my knuckles are like red and my hand hurts like wad nots... :X
but i knw right from the moment i read qns & planned my ans...
that we'll have a good laugh when its over...

cuz EVERY QN (except 1 i think) was exactly what we tested each other...

this is so super cool (:
i hope it pulls my overall C grade to a B+ at least!

4) Dinner by ME againnnn...

TMR my mum's invited some guests over...
from "she cook i help" become "i cook she help".. DIAOS!!!!
ok, so the dishes are slightly modified from my dad's bday dinner (:
and we just shopped for everything earlier today...
pretty exciting (:
and i did some pre-pre-mise-en-place just now already ((:

hahahs, shall see how the judgers say tmr LOL~!

oh btw, for that matter,
we bought a soft sweet white wine on offer (:
i dun really expect it to be SWEET like honey,
but just less dry... i hope it goes well...

5) NIGHT CYCLING with NEXO??
ehs, my nexo-updater (shah) havent update me yet LOL..
hahahs, although i kinda promised i'd be going cuz i've been missing out alot..
rushing there after the dinner @ my hse...

BUT, i hope i dont be late and miss everything ):

oh wells, this is my FIRST night cycling trip...
amazing that i got permission granted to go hors?
on the deal that i cooked that night LOL, damn cool ((:
thanks mummy!!!

============================

okie.. i think the post is loooong enough...
i needa go figure out a song by Mummy's request...
.
Knowing You- Graham Kendrick (:
*quite nice on piano actually*

Love Becca... (:

when all of that doesnt matter anymore...

becca (: ♥ 1:50 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2009
happiness? rid of pain?

i wonder..

when can the world be rid of pain?

this word pain.
it hurts really badly...
in all kinds of ways...

and... it's everywhere...

you hear it from their hearts,
you see it in the eyes,
in their body langs,
in every hurt soul..

when will this end?

but then again, what is the world without pain?
we'll never know how to treasure & how to be happy..

but i just wish everyone to be happy again (:

as in, really really really happy..

God help.

just one day.. one moment to come.
if You would, please remove all the hurts & pain...

in everyone in this world...
to recreate the smile on each of their faces.. once more. (:

i just wished everyone could go to Heaven right now,
surely it's a place full of smiles, laughter, peace and joy...

Hey, just listen to this..
i know it's a rather old song...
dont concentrate on anything but let the melody do its thing (:
it gives me hope in its smallest amt..
and i hope you'll feel it too ((:

Never had a dream come true - S Club 7

becca (: ♥ 11:49 PM

Tuesday, February 17, 2009
the reason behind UNPRODUCTIVENESS!

im supposedly studying Accting now..
as per calculated earlier, i cld have done 2 chapters within 5 hrs each...
but for now, i cant even complete ONE freaking chapter...

bottomline,
i dont feel like it,
i cant concentrate,
whatever nots ):
THIS IS BAD...

once again, my brain never stops...
everything and anything has been going through this brain of mine yo...

but i super dont feel like updating...
obviously, everyday there's loads going on in my life...
hahs, but im lazy, will do a short brief one another time, if ever lol!

just a few random thoughts..

-- perfectionist?
i actually thought i toned that down ALOT during the past years, from lets say sec 1 onwards till now?
but apparently, i guess the impression i give people cant lie..
so fine, yes this is me, i like everything to be at its best...
and i believe everything is self-controlled internally, and we can make changes to make it optimum :X
i have yet to get really pissed at imperfection actually,
unless its pretty obvious its slack-job done or something along that line... :X
oh wells...

-- motivations, goals and dreams?
went to the TP career fair earlier this month...
just intended to go for that talk abt further studying in Aus :X
talk about money, sighs..
but the moment i stepped in, i got caught up with an online personality test!
whahahs, it's really pretty cool, and it's so super accurate yo!!
to be honest, i was actually afraid that the test says im not cut out for my industry...
but omg, it's like damn accurate, right to the last thing ((:
relieved...

and recently, i begin thinking abt what i wanna do all over again...
brainstormed on my options, and drew a rough sketch of my routes...
oh wells, i really wonder if im up for it, honestly i dun have the confidence/esteem that i can do it...
but i know i really want it really badly :X
sighs, that's where i wanna be...

-- money!~
u and i both know this will be the next thought righT? lol!
i guess money is pretty much an issue for everyone of us aint it?
sighs, im more broke than ever...
and i've already taken out my "reserves" ))):
and im still in debt of $50.50 to about 3 diff pple...

talk abt money, pls kill me!
im so gonna have to eat cup noodles for the rest of my life )):
sighs, im saving nuts..

what more, for my dreams?

-- withdrawal or independence?
i did say independence...
i realise many pple out there, needs to take more than give...
and if i have to give still before i take, i'd just faint and die..
but sometimes, u just feel like u've all the directions to the answers and u just wanna give them...
oh wells, idk, its true that independence is a kind of closing up, a kind of withdrawal...
but i believe we'll come out stronger in the end.. (:
after all, we were born alone, and we leave this world alone...

-- still surviving?
the only reason that
i havent given up, havent fell totally, havent died with my projects, died with my bad time mgt, that i havent really blown up no matter how pissed i am with XXX, that i still have this energy to go on, that i still have this little bit of hope and motivation, that i still look forward to better days, to just plain trust that everything will be fine whichever parts of my life that have really hit the rocks, to just let go sit back and breathe, to just have peace...
is you, Lord (:

i really look back and i know it,
every moment He was there...
recently, every time i can leave the crapped up situation, smiling and at peace...
it's really amazing..
and i know He was there...
thank you (:

==============================

Hey there!
Zilra 2nd bday cum Farewell to Graddings
BBQ @ ECP @ 10th April [Gd Friday] @ 4pm
$10 pls (:
RSVP latest by 080309, if u want ur food... :P
cya there!
more info @ wearezilra.blogspot.com (:

NEXO: Love Talk tmr @ 12nn; Night Cycling @ 27th Feb!!

Fyrhto? paiseh cldnt make it last outing )):

SL camp coming up!!
so looking forward,
just hope it has the one-of-a-kind atmosphere like last year ((:

and for whatever nots,
my comp is crashing...
let's give it 2 weeks max )):
sighs, i've like 230 pics albums, 67 music albums, loads of sch/personal folders!!
make that 20 GB :X

portable harddisk is corrupted i think )):
makes that worse...
on top of bad economy...
other comp seemed to crash & revive all the time too... :X

have been trying not to use the comp recently after projects...
dont wanna depend on it!!
and then, i forgot to do peer appraisal!!
jumped out of bed at the thought of that :X
and did it in time ((:

that's all peeps!
shall meet all of you up pretty soon aft exams i hope?
till then, its solely ACCOUNTING & CLUBSPA!!

Love Becca (:
that's where i wanna be...

becca (: ♥ 12:27 AM

Saturday, February 07, 2009
FULLY-CRASHED DAY :X

oh wells, jan jan where are you?
i bet you're sleeping right now!
sms me halfway and nvr reply le )):
(i dun like pple to do this ehs.. lol)

key qn is you.. do you still wanna go out?
LOL

----------------------------

let me show you what's the worst no. of crashes u can get in a day...

5pm Nexo @ Orchard

5pm Fyrhto @ Novena

6-7pm Dad's Bday Dinner!! (im cooking b4 tt lehs!)

7.30-10pm? CNY concert @ CEFC Wdlands

and jan just asked me if i wanna go suntan last night...
i was saying early morning to 3pm should be fine...
and then there's no confirmation, so mayb not going already...

=====================

sorry, havent been bloggin regularly.

you know i banned myself from using the comp.
ever since Clubspa ppt slides were done...
only came online to do TTB & thats it.

so what's been happening?

-LUGEd with proj mates!!
(Reuben's first time!!)

-CGed on Wed for my first time, been ponning previously thnks to projects and all...
(of everywhere Delta Ave, near TAS, far from Wdlands!)

-SL interviewed @ TAS (;

-CULI sighs...
(i really enjoy every bit of culi, but i hate solo-ing that stupid mkt list & pple questioning me abt it, WHEN IM FREAKING NOT IN CHARGE OF IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, fine i HELPed to tidy it up, pls thank me before you open your gap)

dont act like i owe u a pile of shit ok...
you dun understand fine, i hate that look in your eyes...
did u even care to get it perfect?
i know it's unworthy shit marks,
but it's a phase to get through to do execution week properly...
and when i have it in my hands, ive no choice to take responsibility...
even at the stake of my Clubspa!
i do make an effort at least & kena from my grp mates in the end...

if u realise, im not grumbling abt the part i've been allocated...
im talking about your attitudeS.

HOW ABOUT YOU?
you only freaking care abt yourself, and saving ur ass pls...
(that's what i hate abt character generated from HTM)
straightforward sharp words are only to your advantage,
i no longer see that as a glitch in ur character but the foundation of your values.

sighs, everyday in culi is getting worse...
just one more time, execution week and THAT'S IT!
happy and sad too :X

============================

honestly speaking i need to clarify 2 things...

1) i dont hate any person in particular at all,
BUT I DO HATE THEIR ACTIONS...

i really find no point in hating the person becux he/she is just being who he/she is...
and sure, sometimes their actions do irk you...
but surely it cant be always, after all we're all born with like-characteristics...
in the image of God (:

2) ive really become more individualistic...
yes, brings independence where people will ALWAYS FAIL YOU (ur expectations) and what will u do then...

it's really tough i agree, sometimes you will feel like breaking down...
but that you'll come up strong again,
as it builds a wall to your heart & emotional feelings & sensitivity to things...
less connections less hurt..

but dont you feel like you're one of the rare ones who can survive on their own?
lest the fools know the redundance and wastedness in their efforts...
lest we do not become fools identifying ourselves with the foolish... (:

do you know
slowly God has been showing me
how to be happy in Him,
and the lack of the need to identify anymore..

GOOD- independence, learning to be strong, i really have peace, less worries, it hurts no more (:
BAD- a greater wall between understanding others... lack of the need to

========================

oh wells, whatever will be tmr, will be (:
i shouldnt be worrying about things like that anymore...

i realised these days is different already...
many people have changed..
i wonder if i really did too?
and i wonder if i should chase back the past, or move forward...
some advise this, some advise that...
perhaps before i know it, it's over...
but why does life show signs that it's not over yet? idk...

my goal is,
whatever it is, to bravely move towards it & get over it (:

okay, off to eating breakfast & probably prep mise-en-place for tonight's birthday dinner! ((:
*oh btw, our fridge is SPOILT! zzz

Love Becca,
what will this year 2009 be like?

becca (: ♥ 9:06 AM