Sunday, November 29, 2009
as things start clearing up in my head..
there's even more things to be done! but it just feels like i've a hang of things now..
maybe that's why the Ready Aura's here :D - it makes me happy lol! -
gonna make this post quite so short.. because of my 2 submissions for 30th Nov :X
1) EJOURNAL omg its so last minute this time! skeleton is more than out.. just need the inspiration to write like river water flowing LOL - come on come on! -
2) PROJECT FEEDBACK.. just as expected, believe me i already speculated it. so be it, a standalone (: just that i needa get it out by tonight! - half done at work already :D -
3) WORK today.. tennis carnival was cool.. everything pretty fine, just the exception of random worries over Cup-cake making, some other social stuff (grr so many things to do), trying to double-up by doing SIP work @ Work LOL! :X
4) WORK AHEAD (tmr).. excited to be meeting secretary.. but of course i know the responsibility that i shoulder.. that makes me stress LOL.. :X - 10 to 10pm, let's hope i can redeem my 12 dec -
5) MY DREAM.. i dont know why.. but tonight, i feel this ready aura.. to just take that leap of faith and walk straight towards it.. even when there's visible obstacles.. let's say it worked out twice before, and it will this time. (: - oh God, help me look beyond! -
kk back to my reports,..! let's hope it comes out good :D
LOVE BECCA :D the feeling of 'family', is just awesome (: but missed nevertheless.. becca (: ♥
7:55 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
-BRAIN OVERLOAD-
i think i really need a secretary for my brain.. - so here, the secretary speaks -
AGENDA FOR 28/11,
digestion in progress...
1) Going to Work.. very tired, sleep abit more, cab from Dunearn again.. - no worries, just cab my 3rd or 4th time this week only wad -
2) 1st thing to do @ Work.. check newspaper, catch newspaper thief - nearly forgot siah, but anw missed the thief too -
3) 2nd most impt thing.. SEE JANICE first thing in the morning! settle all the 3 dates for roster changes.. call Aunty Maggi to let her know i didnt ps on purpose.. - 30th & 5th settled & notified, except my precious 12th dec!! :X -
4) SHOOTS.. meeting again.. now i think its really coming true.. how timely to return the ICT recorder! - heng, by that time i shouldnt have reports to submit already-
5) Table Tennis issue.. managed to bring up, created a little form for waitlist, approved :D
6) MISSED THE SHUTTLE.. omg me & shuttle got seriously no fate )): - oops, give some credit to the 10pm bus waiting for lucky meee ytd! -
7) More Clique meetups?? failed terribly.. LOLOL.. bye Serena! super sad we cant even K again before you leave )): - missing you guys alrdy! awwww -
8) ROSTER.. did i mention that i'm working total 12hours for 30th Nov!?! and additional 1 hour for 5th Dec.. just wish i could claim hours for 12 Dec, supposingly MID-shifters shouldnt have a prob, but approval without substitution is a major prob )): - kill me! caused alot of frowns in me today!! -
9) My DREAM.. sighs just when i set my mind to it.. so many obstacles )): i think sometimes, i either give up too easily, or forget when to give up )): - where's your self-confidence BECCA!?! -
10) REPORTS!!! oh man oh man oh mannn!! Ejournal, heng submission is 30nov, but this month im super LAST MINUTE!! :x Project Feedback, had some ideas about how to proceed, i'll continue with it even if its one-man-show. - equals 2 deadlines hot on my heels :X -
11) TESTING WEEK? suddenly i rmbr, 30th nov may be just a tiny quiz.. but not to forget about GM & GCcoming round )): just to remind myself, kinda had a pre-test experience over the phone on 26/11 by some weird member )):
12) Shopping for stuff.. gahhs, no time to repair my shoes, both are wearing out.. no time to source for cup-cake icing decor for 30nov's experiment no time to source for ingredients & other things.. no time to replace my lost umbrella :X
13) Other things.. the bump on my head still hurts! i get injured at T & S everyday!! :X thanks to the stupid ice-freezer )):
so much things on my mind, esp on the long journey home everyday! random thoughts from memory lanes, random reflections on work. - equals so many creases across my forehead!! :X -
14) Portfolio! omg, how can i forget.. 3 huge parts to develop.. WANT TO DIE ARR )):
LOVE BECCA STILL :D take me away.. i just want a break.. >.< from all these hustle & bustle going on in my mind.. becca (: ♥
10:14 PM
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Bigger Door..
sighs.
just solely this alone.. is enough to make me stone through my thoughts..
woke up this morning, with a sudden urge that told me ' GO FOR IT '.. -i guess that's my conscience, i know i'll regret if i dont try-
but at this point, my confidence also shrinking already.. with all the inferior qns flooding my mind.. -sometimes i really wonder if i make the cut-
THEN AGAIN.. i'm working on that day.. as of now.. so why think so much?
not like it's easy to get offday on a Saturday :X
sighs. why is it soo harddd??
LOVE BECCA :D somehow its always you in my mind still.. getting used to it alrd. let's just say this time, i kinda need some motivational cheer.. lol becca (: ♥
11:32 AM
one really tiring day..
when i say that, i actually mean.. all kinds of tiring, but majorly mental tiredness!
sometimes i really wish my brain would just FREEZE! i think it'll really help me stay younger LOL..
current things in my head now..
1) Newspaper Thief! was not that bad.. just disappointed that i came earlier by 4 hrs, unclocked.. just to catch the stupid newspaper thief, but "it" came earlier than me!!! :X and my eyes nearly popped out staring at the cctv for the next few hrs! plus the super dont feel like stepping into the Lifestyle Centre feeling!
2) The Meeting.. honestly, i kinda expected it.. somehow, whatever exciting stuff that comes from him.. yes, stressful.. but almost always never come true.. LOL, if you noticed..
so since the time the original got postponed.. i kinda saw it coming .. - less disappointmt yeah..-
BUT im like left hanging.. dinner-ed at 4pm for nothing!? unclocked for nothing! i should have just clocked in, and leave as and when i like GRRR :X - lucky i didnt go jackpot & stone lol oops-
3) ROSTER for DEC!! omg i realised i dont really have any plans for the entire month.. just the 2 very impt dates that i need to have some free time..
1st one was miraculously a mid shift i think, so the most cab down to the concert will be cool enough.. (:
2nd one.. gahhs, loads of trouble followed trying to swop shifts.. paiseh! i think i very gan chiong also, then sound damn naggy :X
3rd one?? if any?? i think it will be my discovery for tonight.. (explain later)
4) WORK TO BE DONE.. gahhs, ejournal not even started yet! thank God no more minutes to do, less one thing to frown about!! :D
but still there's my Project Feedback, that i was racking my brains as to how i would proceed.. but i guess i've just decided. i'll just go ahead as i've meant it to be, whoever wanna tag along, you're most welcome. whoever wanna screw people, off you go..
plus, i've been consistently working on my portfolio.. hope it really pays off. but i must say, it's very very tedious!! so many parts to handle at the same time :X
5) ANOTHER DOOR.. to my dreams..
this time, it's a bigger door, however, should I just go-ahead..
by the way, i'm working during the time of the Interview lehs!! tell me how!
LOVE BECCA. :D
becca (: ♥
12:04 AM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
SATIRICAL NONSENSE!
OMG, what a rude shock!
everything went well, surprisingly well for work..
till tonight! and i cant believe i'm sacrificing my sleep for such satirical nonsense..
perhaps, i should have been more mentally prepared, since the day you shot me back..
seriously, i find this whole thing, damn screwed.. it was out of good intention, and solely MY IDEA..
if you didnt like it, suggest something else? and boldly get your arse out of the chair, and do something!
perhaps the world, the life out there is like this.. but it's really a rude shock, that such words may come from what i call, MY TEAM..
it's okay, it's alright. i know now, whatever your true colours.
but one advice, if you have skin thick enough to shoot, i hope you have the guts big enough to show..
seriously. omg.
---------------------------------
and as if one case is not enough for tonight..
what kind intentions.. to receive such dirty replies..
it totally disgusts me to think that you could insult another just so to prove your point of unworthiness!
OMG!
do you know how greedy you are? wanting 3 swops, and i'm offering you one infront of you face.. and you're putting me on hold, so that you could get the better of the choice!?
WTH! disgusting FREAK!
------------------------------------------
like seriously.. did i even target anything towards any of you?? nor even target both intentions negatively for both of you.. OMG.. seriously what went wrong!??!
in the name of the devil, such filth exist.. but when the time comes, must all these flee.. becca (: ♥
12:32 AM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A PEEK into a typical yet not so typical OFFDAY :D
SOP a.k.a. Standard Operating Procedure
wake up, sleep back..
wake up (really)..
think about to-do list for the day, while still snoozing in the bed!
think about what to wear if going out, while still snoozing LOL!
finally get up & brush teeth & bathe..
---------------
follow to-do list: [typicals] - sign-in MSN - check emails (msn & tp) - check my fb - check my blog - stalk profiles on FB.. - stalk blogs.. LOLOLOL, joking :P
[today's] - check OTC results (i got in!!) - photocopy Elaine's recipe - find out how to go Clarissa's house tmr aft work! :X - iron working clothes! grrr - ask sis' for dressing advice HAHAS! & iron going-out clothes..
- write-in ytd's daily journal for work
- finish ejournal outline (touchup whatever's raw) - do some minutes' revision :S (so that i dont malu myself on Thurs)
- do up content for Proj Feedback - start doing something abt mini-proj - update Portfolio ideas..
- get flower for Serena :D - meet Han @ 6pm - collect ticket from counter @ 7pm - chop seats @ 7pm - hope the rest arrive on time by 7.30pm :X - go timbre @ 9.30pm?? ((: - home by 12mn?? :D - bathe/ change/ online/ prep work clothes.. - SLEEEP!!!
[work @ 9am =wakeup @ 6am if i dont wanna bust my wallet with CABBING @ peakhrs!]
LOVE BECCA =D totally reminded me of these 3 years.. (and how i knw now, that it's too good to be true..) becca (: ♥
3:05 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
FAN SI REN LE!!!! D=
omg this is really making me frown.. to the extent that tears of anger nearly flow awhile ago..
OMGOMGOMG! GRRR!! super annoying!!! )):
SO DAMN UNFAIRRRRR!
it's like you grumble about non-updated info.. i tried doing my part in getting it. (i really take it as my personal responsibility, so long i'm part of this facility) (i dont know why don't you bring it up? maybe you scared you ass gets burned, but i dont really care sorry?)
i feel its right. i do it the way i think its right.. -isn't this the way we ought to live life? or wait for instructions every other second of your life?? till the day you die..-
nevermind that.
but you didn't have to burn my ass for me did you?
seriously, your eyes are just soWARPED.. that even handwriting can be such a serious case to you.. FINE nevermind.. 'all the days' also can operate by non-common sense.. FINE my mistake? i thought your 5year experience ought to do your brain some good?!
or did they fry your brains totally? from all the warning letters threat!?
SCREW ALL THAT! how could you screw us instead, when we were not doing anything wrong!?!
this is honestly, my 1st experience of work.. that i get screwed the most no. of times.. when i'm doing things right anyway.. (just maybe not in the eye of the beholder) or at least not in the wrong, as though im a criminal.. when i dont even have the slightest idea, that im doing something wrong in your eyes..
-------------------------------------------
Let's listen to my story?
1) HIERARCHY.. sorry, i've been brought up in evironments that hierarchy NEVER applies.. let's see, my 1st job? sorry, the boss is the one who taught me everything (because it's a small biz)
2nd job? sorry, some people's info can be so inaccurate that i rather go straight to the boss.. and that has been the practice, at least for me? for the past 1.5years??
my family? NEVER THE CASE.. respect is respect.. will be present, if you do something worth the respect.. (: - applies all the way- although parents are authority over children, i believe they are only human to err, and if i should think they're wrong.. I SHOOT.. (without any restrain) as much as they would, with me. nothing to hide, nothing to lose, nothing to gain..
so, i dont see why i cant speak to the mgr.. when i suppose he has an appt with us randomly? and i even felt that i really was doing a favour still, by going over and declining that he should have to come over again later..
BUT PEOPLE CHANGE STORIES OMG!
2) INDIVIDUALISM.. whahahs, one of my biggest weakness i mentioned before.. i take pride in being able to do things/ settle issues myself. all my life! (of course i enquire about every single thing to the littlelest details esp when im noob at it.. but you can't expect me to ask something i dont know that ive to ask abt?) (i.e. if it's in the SOP, and i know im not sure about it, yes, i will make sure i get it right the 1st time, this is me.. BUT if it has not been taught before, oh wells, and within my own capabilities or so i think, then i dont see the point in enquiring on every single scenario?) woops. i guess it doesn't apply here? i tried, i swear i tried.. but perhaps it's losing control in the past 2 weeks.. :X
some, like the NETS issue.. yes i know im in the wrong.. admitted, apologised.. nothing to hide about.. but hey, people do make mistakes too right? and i had my reasons, really.
(you have no idea how confident i felt somehow, and affirmed when she told me ref no. = club no.) (perhaps, its abt the yes-then-no restrain, but i happily did that with all confidence, and if it were really a no, TELL ME! i would have just apologised to the member and said sorry on my part!)
3) DIFF STORIES..
screw this really..
team effort yeah right.. i'm not so willing, but will learn to be willing.. to bear others' mistakes..
BUT DO NOT LIE TO ME! screw that really..
how pretentious and a pile of rubbish.. really. and you can repeat this to me TWICE! what can i do? nod to your lies.. FINE..
BECCA >.< and i thought we were a team.. what a facade! perhaps this is the life of sinners.. becca (: ♥
9:23 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
spell LIFE.
hmmz, been wanting to blog.. for the past few days.. but nothing came out for damn long.. LOL! >.<
today, being no different.. let's just pour my brain out in general terms k!
1) WORK will be doing PM shift today.. 2.30-10pm.. let's just say, i thought i've got more time to train today! and now i just realised, TONIGHT IS MOVIE NIGHT.. shoots, equals im so going to screw the test :X
i dont know why it seems as though im the only one paranoid abt being tested.. maybe because everybody else i know, has already gone through it.. some with more screwings than others ):
2) SIP seriously, STOP PROCRASTINATING BECCA! omg, supposingly i wanted to start it proper since 1 week ++ ago!! until now, it's just bits and pieces.. and supposingly, i woke up at 8am to deal with it today.. LOOK AT THE TIME NOW! 2.5hrs G-O-N-E gone! )):
Note to Becca: please please please.. have some discipline to SOLIDIFY EVERYTHING? so that i may have a smooth-sailing next 2 mths.. of less rushy things to come? and yet quality work!? )): -is that too demanding!?-
3) OTHERS did i ever mention? that everytime i go for a funeral.. if im not close to the person at all, i've dont really have any feelings attached luhs.. is just that i cant bear the thought of it, if the person lying there.. might have been someone i really love >.< (be it my family, my friends etc)
and guess what? i kinda altered my french twist..! my sister says i look younger.. damn hard to do, thanks to the ugly fringe!! )): but let's hope it works out, at least for TODAY! :D
and grrr.. spent the whole night yestdy.. brainstorming, researching on doing things i feel like doing.. ahahas, wasted time? LOL or is the noob effect setting in!
after all, im not even sure if i have to time to do the things i wanna do!! -how ironic!-
plus, my piano is really left in the dust.. everyday.. come home, stare at it.. swear im going to play awhile.. and it never happened! >.<
i spy more sleepless nights to come.. more pimples! and one ugly becca LOLOLOL! )):
LOVE BECCA :D if you had just one wish for tonight, what might it be? (: becca (: ♥
10:26 AM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
a longggg TO-DO LIST!
alright.. as the title suggests, life's been breathless.. or more like my brain has never stopped running!
for that matter, let's do some justice, i did shopp quite a bit on my OFFDAY with mummy on wed :D but there's thousand and one things left undone still
so let me proceed by rattling off...
Random thoughts
1) TASK LIST UNDONE!! omgomg, i only have 2 days now to FINISH everything.. and supposingly, i think im the only one left un-tested!! OMG )): -GG-
honestly, i find it harder to train in Bukit Recep.. due to the random busy-ness of phone calls amounting to 100+++ in 5 hours.. :X
2) BUKIT GYM TMR!?! omg, i was on offday on wed, when this ROSTER CHANGE CAME... and i suddenly have to report to the GYM for one day!??
3) THE- MEETING.. i am freaking nervous about this one... just had a private lesson today with Janice.. on using her personal voice-recorder..
makes it all the more exciting BUT nervous!! gahhs, i hope all goes well.. didn't really told anyone about it, other than those who asked, and my mum (: I really hope I am able to meet expectations & do a good job! how about, i already reprinted my commsk notes on that one!?
4) MY DREAM.. sometimes, i feel like im on the brink to just give up altgt.. sometimes, i feel like there's still a good chance..
other times, i feel im too impatient.. other times, i say "give it till END OF NOV"... ??
IDK!!! it's nerve-racking by itself already.. )):
5) MY FRIENDS.. rember, the 3 offdays i wanted? i got my 1st one granted & secured beyond changes.. just a few days ago.. :D - you have no idea how happy i am! -
and 2nd & 3rd.. gahhs, i wish i can predict the future & start plotting from now LOLOL.. - anyway, cant wait for 24Nov!! -
let's just hope it's successful? yeah sure, it is extra job.. but i am all willing to do it.. it wont kill, will it?
7) SIP STUFF.. let's just say i got so many ideas, not put into action.. )):
or how about, I need more time, or more ability to MULTI-TASK AT WORK!! D:
kk that's about all... rmb i needa wake up at 4am tmr!
so.. tata!
LOVE BECCA :D what doyou want forChristmas? (: becca (: ♥
10:32 PM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
15th Nov :D
grp photo of the day changyong, becca, jan, han, serena (clockwise) . .
okay, let's backtrack.. before it EXPIRES.. or if not, i wont ever get to blog abt this! LOL
. . woohs, 15th November @ Work.. was incredibly insane.. i did a NETS transaction when it was not in use.. nearly got myself fried for that ):
-though it wasnt as bad as the past 3 screwings lol- .
15th November, is also a Sunday, didnt get a chance to go to church due to work.. went for WEB the night before though (: .
15th November, also Changyong's Concert preview!
hahahs, my actual reason of going, is because im not sure if i can make it for 19th dec..LOL (let's hope tt i can?) anyway, the performance in general, other than some mistakes here and there, i felt it was really nice :D .
15th November, FINALLY GOT TO MEET UP 80% OF CLIQUE.. where is Graciie seriously )):
and then, we roamed around Vivo till 11pm++ caught last train home! lucky for us :P
super high night!! went to CarlsJr, then camwhored like mad, and as if the whole playgrnd belonged to us!! i really miss those days, when we ALL high tgt like tt >.< . . .
LOVE BECCA :D tell me this wont last, this is all a lie.. i know it'll hurt once more.. and im just a fling.. and i should once again give myself the 3-day deadlineto forget you..
becca (: ♥
12:33 PM
FULL OF SURPRISES :D
Today is pretty extraordinary.. considering its like a change from a bad week.. to a good start for a Monday? :D
1) TUESDAY OFFF! :D super happy that 4th week roster is out! and I still have my Tuesday off.. means I don't need to go watch Serena's concert.. IN FORMAL WEAR hehehes (:
2) WHAT AN ASSIGNMENT!! :X an honour lah. really. my superior called me at the Reception, to tell me that I've been nominated to becoming Meeting Secretary for 20th Nov FNB meeting.. wth...! means, I'm going to write minutes.. (FIRST REAL TIME!?) ehs, better study that again.. :P
3) met Serena for lunch @ Pastamania today ((: hahas, so random right? not for the vids and pic she wanna transfr.. she probably wont come right??
LOVE BECCA :D i really have no idea.. how i can just simple fall for you over again and again...!!
becca (: ♥
12:43 AM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
MY OFFDAY :D
random thoughts in my head (:
1) okay, my no.1 crease for the day! was very worried that people dont und my instructions in the email.. wasted alot of SMSes just for that! not to mention the urgent night calls to Partner & Datin.. and the msn with Cherina.. and the worrylines when the rest were uncontactable!
but to my pleasant surprise, those 3 colleagues produced the BEST work :D and the others with substantial quality, though they never reply me!~! hehes, worry for nothing LOL
although super not on time.. HEHEHS, only 2 person made the 12midnight deadline! hahas, but i think im quite nice lorrs, i actually gave exceptions to PM-shifters (:
now left my part already, slowly go collate & edit..
hahahs, must'nt slack although this time, got less 1 report to collate, and less materials to read through!
hehes, but there goes my offday, but at least i still managed to go out for LUNCH (: and watch some DVD...! -still got some life luhs :D-
2) OMG I THINK.. my sister is going fail Chinese 'B'... considering my poor chinese can still und the qns, while she got like 6/10 WRONG!?!?
3) 300 went to borrow the dvd from the rental shop.. just to show mummy, that this movie is nicer than Last Samurai (3hrs)!!
okay, more bloody.. but i feel that the director darkened its shade.. so that he highlights the character of the show, rather than its tangibility. (:
BUT, walaus, i think the one on Channel 5.. has more censored parts! hahahhas :O
4) Enjoying my offday :D dont know why, but just feel like singing the whole of today! -okay, the day hasnt ended yet :P-
on a side note, really enjoy not wearing FORMAL for a change.. (: finally, be-myself-day!
and yay, finally sleep like 13hours!?!? :P -piggish!-
5) IT'S 12NOVEMBER TODAY!! sighs, i hope i can get in.. i wonder if the online assessmt, totally filtered me out..
come on! have some confidence in yourself becca!!!! :X gahhhs, i guess what's meant to be will be (:
6) RECEPTION :D i actually love Reception.. just wanna try handling things on my own.. hahahs, i think im doing good (:
since young, i like to be busy.. it makes me feel impt? LOL i'd like to see what i can do.. and where i cant.. (:
oh wells, so far so good :D
7) SIP Stuff.. come on, i need to get my butt out.. and start doing something about it..
not just thoughts anymore.. but real tangible work!! gahhhs )):
-tonight-
8) My Sought-after OFFDAYS!! i realised can substitute shifts! let's hope i can work around that for the 3 dates.. 24Nov, 19Dec, 29Dec..
otherwise.. I DONT REPORT FOR WORK LORRRR!!! )): -hope you guys know, this is how much you mean to me :D- awww... LOL!
LOVE BECCA (: fulfilling dreams & goals, is hardwork put into action.. not just in lala-land, but paving your way to El Dorado (: becca (: ♥
2:01 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
can i like stop FROWNING already?!?!
walaus its going to add wrinkles to my face luhs!!
but i realise i've been frowning so frequently.. and just today alone, i've like 3 issues to frown already..!
GRRR the SOP thinggi.. really struck a nerve in me..
do you know how it feels.. to really wanna do your best, put in so much effort.. and its not just for ME.. but for all 8 of us! and no joke lehs, i really didnt have to do this.. but since i stepped up, i feel like its a personal responsibility.. like i should follow-through till perfection?
gahhs, i felt so damn disappointed when i first heard abt the "rejection" and then, frustrated & damn pissed that i nearly blow at partner.. :X -sorry partner!- then cussing and all.. and finally emailing a reply from our perspective!
gahhs, screw all that.. kinda spoilt my cheery day for awhile! )):
(you know i purposely cab to work for $10 today, reach at 6.30am, so i can see how opening duties are done.. im not obliged to, but i just want to start the day right.. as i should be responsible & not leaving the senior/full-timers do Opening all by themselves, and kinda like proving interns are just like a flower vase.)
GAHHHS, whatever.. i thought i could 'retire' from all this report rubbish.. and kinda let someone else do the next one.. but considering the "Next" one is my unfinished job.. i feel obligated to get it done asap.. >.<
========================
SIP stuff..
im damn excited for my portfolio!! (: -as i do have plans alrd..-
but the most difficult part.. is not exactly the inspiration.. BUT FOLLOWING THROUGH.. :X
i really hope i can make things work! and this also creates creases on my forehead as i get too engrossed on HOW TO.. while "accidentally" staying up pass bedtime, just to get it through.. :X
oh wells.. i guess i may really come across as a chiongster.. but no, i feel that the pace is fine, and i am honestly enjoying the process of getting the ideas & getting it done.. im just worried with WHAT IFs, and the anxiety to complete my responsibilities often weigh alot on me :X
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My dream to fly..
another serious crease.. grr, i'm going to get old & ugly before i know it!!
sighs, maybe im just pessimistic.. and then trying to cheer myself up..
i really believe dreams do come true in reality.. of course, i say that we facts as well.. but i say we have to reach for it, chase it, do whatever we can..
but sometimes, our low confidence & pessimistic mindset simply gets the better of us ): like the more you want it, the more precious it is, the more you know you cannot afford to not get it.. the more anxiety, the more thoughts that linger.. the more everything crumbles under YOUR OWN PRESSURE!
silly, but real >.< tell me that's not true? -unless you've never wanted anything so badly in your life before, then i think you're a pretty sad case..-
===========================
my eyes are really tired from staring into space.. and with my brows arched unconsciously..
i need time off.. before i get back to sip docs. byeee (:
LOVE BECCA :D i really want to give it my best shot.. becca (: ♥
5:54 PM
Sunday, November 08, 2009
I believe you..
this is honestly one book that i'll just keep reading..
firstly, i dont really read.. secondly, i actually read this entire book at one go within 3 hrs.. in my sec 4 classroom just during the exam periods.. i think prelims.. (:
for those with a heart, warning: dont cry too much (:
for those without one, why do you even care abt reading what im writing.. lol
anyway, i guess its perspective luhs.. diff pple relate to diff things.. and feel/not feel diff things.. so oh well, give it a shot?
alright... my muscles aches from btwn my thumb & index, to my right lower arm, to my right shoulder, to my neck (i think i didnt sleep properly), to my butt! and of course, to my feet (new heels!)
gahhhs! okay, for a word of justice.. i did have fun (:
but the aftermath of trying my potential out in the courts.. trying to play up some ball sense.. from tennis & squash.. HEHEHS!
you know now..
=========================
WORK LIFE TODAY.. alright, like a half-dead rat.. but i still have formal wear to iron, and my daily work journal to complete..
have to work on my portfolio, and translate all my "brilliante" ideas into written form.. starting small though..
have to set alarm, and DEFINITELY wake up early tmr... considering morning shift means eyebags! and of course, pretty triple eyelids on the brighter side..
and yeah.. best part is, im really through with this.. but none of my family really understands.. yes work is tiring, i guess only my dad knows.. but cut out the nagging sometimes? (i guess tonight's pretty good alrd)
and for that matter, i cabbed from home today, solely cause im really tired, and i guess i forgive myself for that?
=============================
NEXT.. next thing on my mind
im so worried i cant get the 3 offs i want... and just when i feel like cheering "one down, two more to go" i realised i cant be that heng just yet...
so much for that i've already paid $45 for 3 tickets to Serena's concert..
it feels like you just wanna blurt out "i'll go no matter what" but then again, life's not so naively simple ):
sighs, how about the other two?? wait long long? -frowns-
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im still waiting.. was in the jitters.. but i guess i just gonna have to accept whatever comes..
although reading this book i bought.. really made me smile it off.. with a little aura of confidence that i can do better.. but that's not what counts.. its about what others think in this industry.. not exactly what you think..
i wish i was brave enough to say "Come What May.."
anyway, just one thought about my industry.. i guess i really am one person at work, and another outside work..
perhaps, it doesnt mean i've 2 faces.. just 2 diff takes on things.. and perhaps 6 days at work, can really make you let loose on your offday :D -i like that-
but my point is, perhaps you cant see me just from one side.. lol, funny how people think i'm a career woman.. whahahs, maybe for now.. but what's gonna come, just gotta come (: and then perhaps, its time to MOVE ON ..
LOVE BECCA (: i might really wish upon a star, just for this 3 days.. becca (: ♥
9:02 PM
Saturday, November 07, 2009
DRAINEEDDDD but HAPPYY :D
okay im think im nuts today.. really.
dont know what's got into me, but im just DAMN HIGH...
perhaps its the result of lack of sleep, see what 4hrs can do :P
SUPPOSINGLY... 2 reports to strangle away my offday, can really kill! >.<
i promise.. if i really love myself, LOL this will be the last time, i take on such a responsibility!!
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RECEPTION..
ultra fun today... reported for work 3 hrs early.. come on, i think im the only insane person who does that all the time.. (i.e. Jackpot too LOL)
and working with Leslie is FUN mann.. with all her funny expressions, and silly Jerica prank calling me like one million times in a row LOLOL!
and SPRING CLEANING randomly.. was gross but fun.. last half hour into knock-off.. we decided we cant take it anymore, and we embarked on a mission to... RID THE RECEPTION OF ANY SIGHTED INSECT-CARCASSES! (and guess what? we found alot of lizard shit too!!)
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and homing was a pleasant surprise too...
MET PRISCILLA @ AMK HUB!!!
if you even rmbr who's that, she's my Zilra gl.. almost cannot recognise her!
alot prettier, a long time ago since i last seen her..
not very close.. but ANOTHER PRUDENTIAL-er.. OMG.. :X
anyway, chatted for like half hr plus plus.. so randomly, and its cool to meet long-lost friends HAHAHS
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last but not least.. IS THERE A MUSICAL AURA TONIGHT? or izzit just meee??
seriously, couldnt stop singing on the way home.. and suddenly got hooked onto the tune of Miley Cyrus' The Climb... outted it onto the piano @ 11.45pm??
and i just couldnt stop already... all the way past midnight till 12.15pm?
DID I TELL YOU... i just love playing the piano @ Midnight.. with a superb audience of utter silence! seriously, it feels like some concert hall hehehes! :D
anyway, my sister got me hooked onto fiddling with my dearest accoustic, that i've let dust play company to it for the last 1yr or so!??? (sorry, Jared, shouldn't let your teaching go to waste LOLOL!!)
and guess what.. "Love Story" just came out SOOOO SMOOTHLY! hahahas, felt damn fun strumming that familiar rhythm ((:
oh oh oh! and i mustn't forget to tell you this... i sneaked into RP library to bind the 2nd report this morning @ 9am.. (that's not the point) to realise that RP LIB HAS A PIANO FOR ALL TO PLAY!!! omgomgomg! how cool is that... i wished TP had a corner like this too manns... awwww )):
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on 2nd thought.. Classroom session tmr.. and my portfolio draft is like incomplete, with a chance of forgetting to get it printed tonight...
surviving on4hours of sleep, and scarce scraps for dinner.. I SHOULD GO SLEEP NOWWWW. (:
