yep yep..

if you had one wish this Christmas, what would it be?
-i would wish for you, you, and you to be happy-

okay it really feels like its snowing in the dining room now!
freaking cold that im going to shiver sooon!

and i think i recently heard dad talking about an Aussie trip in March..
or otherwise wait for it to snow...........

WOOTS i wanna see snow! ((:

i suddenly feel like singing Christmas songs..
okay correction,
i've been in a mood to sing Christmas songs this entire weeek!!
-but nobody to high with me HAHAS-

plus i'm having my 1st working Christmas eve & day!!!
how sad ):
but ironically..
it's also my most happening Christmas season.. hehes!
-7 Christmas parties, go where to find!-

at work,
Jackpot machines are giving away nice sum of presents too!
hehes, so many payouts, small but many..
enough to please (:
enough to become Christmas pressies.
enough to kill my tired feet!!! ):

so many things to think about..
but i've been kept busy..
let's look at it at the sunny side up anyway.. (:
but some updates would be......
- finally met Mayrissa @ BSC Christmas party!
- still sorting out my future )):
- hard to apply for OIL on 10 Jan how!?
- approved OFF on 3 Jan!!
- happening December seriously..
- finally met up Amara peeps :D
- should i do part-time at SICC?
- should i try again for my dream?
- should i just go BHMS straight..
- ahhhhhh so many thingssss...

oh..
and my miracle got through its practice,
and got complimented and approved hehehs!!! :D:D

LOVE BECCA :D
so many presents!!!

becca (: ♥ 12:23 AM


Thursday, December 24, 2009

super tiring day..
look at the no. of faulty machines today!
machiam some spoil-tgt day... :X

look at the no. of payouts..
walaus, like as though they're humiliating those to dumped so much money!!

look at/ hear all the sound..
super noisy machines!


k lahs, my eyes closing..
esp after the TPSU & BSC christmas night :X


Love Becca (:

becca (: ♥ 12:32 AM


Tuesday, December 22, 2009
today is a must-blog!

hehs.
surprisingly,
today work really made my day (:


@ the Jackpot Room..
(i think 'fruitmachine' is an underrated name!)

coin collection today was extraordinary!
because its also machine installation day (:

felt super privileged to be able to see it.

then our job during which,
was to supervise like inspectors..
making sure nobody stole/ smuggle anything..
kinda caught 3-4 guys staring at loose $4 worth of coins..
LOL, they were like take it lah take it lah..

- so i take it lor...
and give back to the float luhs DUHH-

then Moses chased me out of the room..
LOL, say i super free nth to do go help Reception...
okay..............

so i did..
just nice, when they started drilling holes through metal..
and we all couldnt breathe!

then Reception was like boring..
then later SUPER BUSY! :x

was late to get back to Jackpot ):
all the fun started then..
Cocktail reception,
new machines to play..
30-40 people in 1 room is SUFFOCATING!!! :X

then better still,
got like 5 GC members!?!?
scary but fun (:

for no reason,
my FnB side kicked in..
hahahas, didnt feel like snatching job from Jane mahhs..
so i became drinks server lol!!

best part was..
being praised!!!!!! :D:D:D
praise normal one is no kick..
but praised by the ah beng that i kena shouted at before! LOLOL..

-only yuying will understand how it feels :D-

then the next 2 hours simply flew past mann!~
super busy until you just wanna remove the heels seriously..
of course, i stopped being a drinks server altgt.. lol!

then come the new machines...
grrr.. nobody knows how to operate lah pls!
touchscreen!? like which button!?
jackpot? which key!?! :X

but we had fun manns..
oh! later i became FOOD server!
omg, everybody wanna dabao the leftovers..
and not enough tongs..
so came the serving gear skills that have not been used in ages!! (:

hehs!
happy day at work :D

(though i cried just before work again..)

==================


ON THE WAY HOME...
omg..
i feel so jammed up!!!
like literally..

after shopping for some groceries..
i couldnt even walk at all..
didnt know what happened..
later realised it was cramps..

nearly killed me lorr..
i swear i thought i was going to die there and then..
or faint or something.. ):

then managed to scramble my way home ard 8pm++

super tired,
but here goes the usual crapp..
needa iron tmr's clothes..
needa prep stuff..

and then a long list of THINGS TO DO..
suddenly sparked off )):
i dont need to sleep tonight already!!



LOVE BECCA (:
wo neng cheng duo jiu,
jiu cheng duo jiu ba..
fan zhen ni ye wu shuo wei ba..

becca (: ♥ 11:54 PM


Sunday, December 20, 2009
indescribable.

a difficult Sunday.
but i managed thru. (:
with a false front of cuz..
i wish i could really smile like that.

too many thoughts that ive appeared to be stoning.
(so sorry to my cg mate who wanted to lunch with me so badly!!)



TODAY...

cried thrice ytd night..
cried to sleep.

woke up..
cried again..

dragged myself out of bed,
cuz mum was nagging like mad seriously!

the whole morning from wake up to end of service..
i cried at least 5 times..
thanks to the song performance they had which included Love Story & Perfect..
it hit hard at 2 exact memories.
(hope my fam didnt notice :X)

stupid stupid becca!
enough of the waterworks already,
it wont do anything!!
just get the plumber to fix things alright? )):

yup. so i did.
i made a drastic decision..
but it has to be done.. ):
-to close this chapter along with this love & friendship-
actions have consequences..
and i chose this path 3 yrs ago..
so this is it.

i know i've over-stalled for time..
just like Zilra..
it has a lifespan..

thinking until tired,
crying until sleep..
is not going to work ):

i used tell myself.
this is what i would pay for this one friendship,
built from scratch.

but yesterday,
i guess it reached a point,
that i can hide it away no longer.
i dont ask for anything. really.
but the fact that is hurting like shit..
even after a year of killing it..
proves that it still will next year..

i guess i just have to end it where it started.
hope i dont cry too much this FO )):
at least not infront of my peeps..

its all my fault anyway..
but thank you while it lasted.
i was very very happy (:



becca ><

becca (: ♥ 8:06 PM



end of crazy week :D

today is Saturday,
although it terribly doesnt feel like one at all!

but i'm glad it has marked the end of my crazy week..
everyday is seriously..
"full of itself" lol.

i almost thought i wouldnt pull thru..
but i eventually did.
-good job becca (:-



TODAY

late for work again..
making this the 3rd time..
instead of the twice a mth record..
which is equally BADDD...

Receptioned for awhile,
before proceeding to settle Lifestyle duties for the next hour or so..
i like having no one to report to lol.
-free and easy! wont last long though-

Lunched.
then Jackpot.
then zhao.
-kinda zhaoed early to go get changed... oops-

cabbed over to St James,
then felt damn weird the entire time.
from finding the place
(cuz i dont club & i've no idea at all)
to queueing up alone..
(felt damn weird, but thank God i met Eric!!)
to meeting up Weiting inside..
(we had like upfront "VIP" seats??)
to going home lorr..

guess what..
we forgot to eat dinner!

yup, that's it for today.
tired eyes need to sleep :D




BECCA (:
perhaps i stalled for too much time, and have been lying to myself all this while..
thanks for the memories, they were the time of my life while it lasted..
i know its time to go, i will delete these memories and disappear soon. (:

becca (: ♥ 12:20 AM


Thursday, December 17, 2009
superwoman uh??

i think im cui-ing already...
i seriously dont know how to tahan another 2 more days!


CRAZY WEEK..

my hp is like helpline to the shorthanded depts.
daily phonecalls is like machiam on-standby 24/7 like that..
i feel like some ambulance LOL
-privileged but exhausting!-

better still,
every day is a new surprise..
day 1 (tues) -- multi-departmenting!?
(i.e. on-standby..)
day 2 -- Minutes-taking within 30mins notice!
(at politically-hot scene! :X)
day 3 -- Minutes-chionging... )):
(so hard to concentrate with Recep calling me all the time!)
day 4 -- Recep opening duties
(i mean seriously everything ourselves!!
full-timer on MC!! :X)
day 5 (sat) -- what's next??

sighs.
im really feeling very stretched..
especially hopping over to TP for OTC for the past 2 nights!
and still acting all hyper/energetic..
when honestly,
im dying already LOL


this morning...
it really felt like i'm going to fall really sick..




LOVE BECCA :D
this few days,
i simply fail to blockout all negative thots.. )):

becca (: ♥ 7:25 PM


Wednesday, December 16, 2009
EXHAUSTED but HAPPY :D

today is one interesting day...

let me break this down!


1) WORK
firstly, my job scope is like SaiGang to the max..
and today is only DAY ONE of this shitty thing.. ):

imagine high-heeling your way on 2 routine checks ard the club..
one to update noticeboards,
one to update magazine piles..

in btwn which, you'll kinda have additional tasks..
like wrong material, typos, complaints ..

the best part is,
i'm like Ms Complaint Absorber for Lifestyle Centre today!
every single thing, *phiuuu* i'm downstairs..
"yes how may i help you??"
listen to their rants, attend to their needs..
then back to original SaiGang... :X

best part is sorting of old newspapers..
it was kinda my suggestion,
becux in view for the week to come,
i'd be the one having to struggle with these!!
so i'd rather have it done today (:
of cuz, pulled in the help of Seb with Nora's permission! ((:
and we spent 2 freaking hours,
like some Garung Gunni!!!! -.-

what's the result?
5-minute lunch before the next complaint!
blisters on my fingers from paper cuts for the day,
overstretched skin on my palms,
muscular arms,
strained back!! ):

-i really like being busy, but today's really a little too much to bear-


2) Biggest Surprise of the Day..
she actually said "thank you" to me!
OMG (:

it really made my day to finally breakthrough all the crapp..
we worked pretty well,
although it was after my hours already..
but while waiting for mummy,
i just helped her (:

although there was a hiccup later,
it was due to my ignorance,
and from then settled :D

-happy that my efforts to stay neutral paid off!-


3) OTC 2009
its seriously a big miracle!

was kinda prepared for the worst..
super dont feel like going..

but awesome siah...
1stly, 10 Year 3s and 5 are from Zilra!! :D:D:D

2ndly, our name is Z... for Zadaz,
and handsign and the seh all that..
is sooooo ZILRA!!!

3rdly, our cheers and bonding all that,
surprisingly turned out as one of the best!

4thly, most of them are like my FO & SL freshies LOLOL!
so it was alot easier to bond :D

5thly, the moment i stepped into this empire..
i kinda knew this empire would make me cry on last day of FOC!!!!
becux of the Zilra presence,
and becux of the people in it..
(of which, both reminded me of you,
the very same reason i'm a GL now.. be honoured!)

and surprisingly,
Geraldine was there..
not close, but we started chatting about 12dec!
HAHAHAS, cool one..
but she really encouraged me to try again!! :D
-shall see how, but your words really encouraged me, thank you!-


k lahs..
seriously time to sleep..
im going to die at this rate..
before even 19th dec,
the last day of my crazy week!



LOVE BECCA :D
i felt your presence there.
a figment of my imagination..
but just what i need to pull it thru!

becca (: ♥ 12:47 AM


Monday, December 14, 2009
an interesting offday (=

woke up to do up some stuff..
before heading down to Giant to meet Graciie..

-finally we get to meet!!!-

then headed to TP to get stuff printed..
apparently bookshop was closed due to stock-taking.... -.-

then went to meet Scandjan @ Day Zero (:
had early dinner & went home..

short and sweet day!
the kind of offday i've always wanted!!

=======================


Chain of thoughts for today (:

1) fond memories & flashbacks simply flooded me as we made our way around tp..
it felt as if everything happened just yesterday!
and i suddenly looked forward to OTC tmr!!


2) OTC :D
quite dread it actually...
becux knowing standard had drop so badly..
beyond any hope of salvaging..
just hope to maintain where it is, would be the best soln for now :S

i sense alot of rising issues already..
and the thought of it really scares me..

-i guess all of us are equally worried, if you're on the same page that is ):-


3) Crybaby! :X
LOL.. okay i dont think anyone will quite get the honour of seeing me cry anyway! :P
but today i cried twice..
once in DREAMLAND..
once on EARTH..
lol ):
-for the very same person...-
in my dream, rather nightmare..
i dreamt that everybody got massacred!!
i was supposingly the last person on their list..
but i was crying like mad for my family and friends..
stupid silly dream.

-i really hate nightmares like this, they make me very very sad!-



on lonely nights or journeys home or just being alone..
it really sinks deep into me..
[the things/ people that i'll really miss/ regret,
if i were to be gone this very moment..]

-emo moments, can really be very real...-




LOVE BECCA :D
thanks for the closure.. really. (:
but i just didnt think those tears would still feel so fresh..

becca (: ♥ 8:16 PM



Plane Crashed.

Hi World (:


[feel like blogging like a RightBr today!]

today is really one eccentric day!
i mean 13th Dec, Sat of course... :X

woke up regretting that i woke up early for work
(for once!!!)
planned to cab even when i woke up on time..
dreaded to get out of bed for work,
and facing the world when i could be in dreamland
and wallow in my own pity ):

-even when tmr's my OFFDAY againnn! lol-

and at work..
gahhs, one boring day manns!
not a single soul in the courts.. ):
so hard to pass time ..
as if its not hard enough already...

but what's worse..
i found it so hard to smile & greet members )):

-seriously couldnt wait for the day to be over!!-

and then it got even worse..
i finally saw Ms Blackface again..
i really dont know what's up lehs..
you just had to give me that attitude didnt you??
up till now, i still give you that little bit of respect lehs..
but since you wanna treat me like invisible,
its okay, it'll be reciprocated. (:

-just dont regret. im serious-

then time for lunch..
had to check 24dec's schedule to rsvp..
had to meet Boss to send him photos..
and i got caught in a 1-hour chat with him!!!
(stayed expressionless throughout)

BUT surprisingly..
LOL he made my day ((:

i knew what's his purpose of the chat right from the beginning..
-to work for him-

but we chatted (he talked mostly)
about my next step for my future..
so timely!! )):
so i just told him everything..

-seriously, didnt expect to blurt all that rubbish out ):-

but he talked me through his resume!
and his entire career path as analogy..
and advised me on my next move..

but what mattered most (i think)..
is how he talked me out of the deadend..

-just what i needed.-

i guess i really need to restructure everything..
this whole dream thinggi.
to stop being so greedy,
to refocus, to re-goal everything again..

-tiring job, stressfull, but so what? i've been through this once for Disney, surely i can do this again (:-

okay..
the rest of the day work out pretty well :D
other than the stupid fainting spells!!
(i've never fainted before,
i dont know what its like to faint.
but i just couldnt walk straight..
my head was heavy but it was not dizzy..
so its like i had to sit down and stone for damn long... :X)

-my deduction: due to the 1 meal a day prac.. no blood in my head :x -

dinnered @ Long house..
thank God for my parents who came to fetch...
if not, i faint halfway on the way home i also wont knw lor! :X


that's pretty much my day today :D



oh just a couple of things.

1) boredom brought me to SIA pages lol..
the transition from my sorrowful peeps at the official pg in the morning,
and browsing the FB in the evening, is really 180 deg change hahahs! :D

2) super disappointed that you thought of me like that )): -why would i?-
you have to know that this Clique means the most to me,
(i guess i have the right to say)
i build this Clique up..
how many times have i to say that any one less,
is just not the same anymore..
why would i exclude you?? )):

3) i'm going back to tp tmr :D
meet friends, stalk people LOL, do stuff.. (:

4) OTC is coming!!! -last siah! ):-
i can only visit at night... :X
better than nothing yeah?




LOVE BECCA (:
.. and i'll love you too.
(with no means of mushiness! just catchy!)

becca (: ♥ 12:02 AM


Saturday, December 12, 2009
mentally drained to the fullest.

5 hours of waiting,
and such a response..

is really enough to drain my entire mental battery..
and even drawing from my physical strength..
causing a real headache!

so much for an Off-In-Lieu applied for this..
just had to do something better and spice my own day up..
so went to find Changyong & Han @ Youth Centre..

was super hesitant,
because i really not in the mood to meet friends.. ):
but just thought that hearing them sing could cheer me up..
lol, and yeah i went anyway..

ALONE..
(felt damn awkward, that when i arrived,
i dont even dare to step in at all,
so unlike me!)

slacked there 2hrs..
then rushed over to WEB..
kinda waste of time?
because it wasnt really a service ):
-so much for the $10 cab fare from BPJ!!-

super drained to the max,
that i know i can sleep wherever i go,
starting from 4pm onwards!!

but after web,
just felt like drowning myself in piano..
so there i go, with my droopy half-closed eyelids..
(like now! so much for 6.45am wakeup)


-------------------------------------------------


After-Thought..

so many people asking..
not that i dont wanna let you all know..
just that its tiring replaying the same terrible sentences..
when i dont even wanna be reminded of it!

most importantly..
i feel really directionless, motivationless, inspiraitonless as of now!!
you know not for this dream,
i wouldnt even:
-step into HTM
-meet the pple i meet in TP
-have such wonderful ideas to go Disney Orlando
-take up French & Jap for CDS
-take up French Intermediate externally...
-work so hard in my SIP place..
-think so much abt SIP portfolio..

sighs.
now PLAN B..
tell me what issit about
and tell me if it would pull through! (:



LOV E BECCA :D

becca (: ♥ 10:43 PM


Thursday, December 10, 2009
Updates :D

so sorry dear friends..
i forgot to update you guys on my offdays for Dec!


to my awesome surprise,
i counted and i have 7 OFFS this month!!! omg :D

01 Dec - chionging Swimming Minutes
07 Dec - 1st FREE offday (=
12 Dec [OIL] - Fulfilling my dream... =D
14 Dec - go back TP to do stuff & meet pple!
20 Dec - church till 12nn, EMPTY
26 Dec - CG Christmas party
29 Dec [SWOP] - Changyong's 21st (=

just sent in requests to claim OT hours,
for 19/12, and 31/12..
hope they get through..

if they do 19/12, at least i get to go home b4 going to the concert..
as of now, im going ALONE :S

if they do 31/12, i might be able to countdown to next year after all!! ((:

----------------------------------------


UPCOMING EVENTS
for Christmas Celeb..

21 Dec - SCC Christmas Sleepover?
24 Dec - SICC Staff Christmas Party
26 Dec - CG Christmas Party


seems happening uh?

(supposingly the tide for events/ functions at work are about to be over,
so here comes OUR TURN!!)

-----------------------------------------


WEIRDED OUT..!~

i dont understand why people will randomly add people on msn/ fb..
for flirty reasons fine fullstop..
but let's give them a benefit of the doubt to be innocent...

(ever since i had so many empires..
i always allow adds first without knowing who they are,
scared i cannot keep track and reject,
then so paiseh!)

i cant believe lehs..
i actually accepted IT's request..
i actually gave IT a chance to explain where/when/how i know IT..
but IT can tell me dont know where/when/how/who/what..

best! dont know where IT get my email add from..
supposingly from friends..
so i ask who!?!
IT says dont know who..
okay fine, that's it.
so i told IT, i will have to end convo.
IT can ask me the pitiful qn "why cannot make friends"..

okay, now..
let me clarify to all ITs..
i dont like to make random friends.
sorry for being so hostile..
just not comfortable with it?

DUHH..
-that desperate mehs?-

-------------------------------------------


TODAY is..
really an ad-hoc day at work..

i like it anyway (:
-happy day at work!-

but i feel like errand girl already!
relate msg, send photos, tally docs, do operations..
(all the random odd jobs!!)

i like being busy though :D

--------------------------------------------


2 Days...

many thoughts go through my head..
trying to play up stuff, and downplay stuff..
aiyahs... think too much alrd lahs! )):

i just hope all goes well... :S
come on, tell me i can do it!!




LOVE BECCA (;
desole, it shouldnt be i know.. and i'll stop it.

2 more days!!

becca (: ♥ 10:04 PM