Sunday, April 25, 2010
an interesting week indeed... (:

NO MORE PHOTOS-UPLOAD PLEASE...

i want to sleep early this time (:
-complexion due sleep! :X-

a super big need to blog.



===UPDATES===

been to school 4 out of 5 days of the week!

Monday - Zadaz Mushroom dinner (the rain chased us to Engine sch instead!)

Wed - Year 3 photo, dinner with Year 3s (:

Thurs - dinner with freshies, HTM orientation, supper with Jas! (i freaking missed the Zadaz photo due to misreading of time! :X)

Fri - lunch with freshies, Yushi photo, Collect gown, sign contract, hanging out with BCM gang, TPSU Subcomm dinner


Loads of fun in school.
meeting freshies for lunch/ dinner.
roaming around.
hoping to bump into eyecandies.
HAHAHS.

photos, camwhoring.
just simply slacking.
re-tasting the food at all the nice places!
sighs. i'm so gonna miss poly life!! ):

眼睛 糖果!!

hahahahs! im serious when i say this batch got more good looking guys/girls than last yr. lol.
hehs. thinking about it, its my sis' batch lehhs!
and i really treat them like my younger siblings.
so nothing more! (:

oh wells, hehs.
this is the first time i got 3 eyecandies can!
2 main & 1 part-time! LOL.
hehs, but they are all common ones.
and all damn cute lahs pls.
in their own comical ways! ahahhas! -.-

oh wells, but now that we're gradding/working.
can forget about meeting up already.. ));



ONE MORE LAST IMPT UPDATE!!!

i've got a job!!! :D:D:D:D
and i start work this coming Tues :X

mixed feelings to the max siah!!

-let's start from the top...-

it's amazing how i landed with this job. really!
my mum seeing my disappointmt & "depression"
forced me to see Classifieds everyday ):
damn depressing!

and suddenly dragged me down to Novena for a random interview.
i dont know what im in for lah!! :X
like company history, job scope, position etc.
ZILCH!

i grumbled that still need to prep resume all that.
mum called the contact person..
and CAME UP IN MOTHER'S STYLE!
omg. totally throw face, but i just let her do whatever she wants. lol.
(she literally called and asked if i can dont do up my resume -.-)

but i still dressed up. all that.
held NO HOPES?
with no voice & sunburnt skin...
went for fun!

AND I FREAKING GOT THROUGH...
they called during the HTM orientation -.-

okay... so i went for 2nd interview @ Kuriya!
a fine-dining jap restaurant @ OC.
okay... dressed a little bit better.
after the interview, i was like...
ZZZZ, forget it. they dont really want me.

really lehs. up till today,
i think they dont really need me.
it's a miracle how the job ad was for a newly-opening outlet in casual-dining.
but i got a position as Trainee Captain in a fine-dining one.
LOL!!

the pay, is still err okay..
best of what i can get for now..
prospects and learning checked.
no contract, but 3-mth probation..
not too bad.

but im in for a gruel time mannn! :X
DO YOU KNOW THAT LATE/ MC MUST FORFEIT UP TO $100!!!!
omggggggg! ))))):

and i signed the contract on Friday already!
so this one's no turning back!

it took me a long time to consider the pros/cons.
between Friends, Kuriya, other possible doors... :X
SO MANY FREAKING CONSIDERATIONS.
money for uni, church camp, offdays for additional income, meal expenses, transport expenses, location/dist, working hours etc!!

*im really okay with slogging through.. but many many things keep popping up and challenging my decisions ))): i guess this is adult life >.<



looking back.
i really just have to thank God for seeing me through.
despite how pissed off & frustrated.
and how desperate to just give up & rot at home.
and how i just dont know how to surrender anything, much less everything to him, ever since this 8 crazy months..
oh wells. im glad it finally ended.
welcome to a new beginning (:

just wanna thank those who's been there for me too!
my CG mates who hear/see me rant/cry out of nowhere...
my scand/ lovely clique who always ask out of concern (:
my family who endures my moodiness.. hehs!
THANKS ALOT GUYS, LOVE YOU :D



===THOUGHTS===

i really learned alot alot this week.
and its definitely my road to a more certain & stable life! cheers!! :D
FINALLY AFTER 8 MTHS!!!


this week.
i really learned the meaning of contentment.

it's as though, you can have EVERYTHING or NOTHING.
and yet be contented, then can you be happy.

im so far from that..
and to realise this,
it took alot of awakening too.
considering im such a perfectionist ):

sighs. i guess Tues marks the beginning of another chapter of my life.
it probably doesnt have to mean closing the other chapters..
but it's like moving on to something new,
learning and growing..
definitely tough :X

all i wanna do now...
is learn all i can,
enjoy what i do,
save up for uni & finish my deg! (:

Tues is orientation day i guess?
and a whole new world.
nervous, and anticipating!

just wishfully hoping that i'll be able to take off on 7th (TP 20th ann.) & 20th May (Grad)!
sighs. tmr is my last chance to go sch already.
should i?



LOVE BECCA. :D
a whole new episode is abt to begin.

becca (: ♥ 9:08 PM


Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Live updates :D

wahs! finally some photos in my almost dead-boring blog :D
and this only happens when i specially stay up to fix photos into internet portals (i.e. FB too!)
.
.
LIFE or LIVE Updates (:
.
*while i literally cough like crazy, i should be resting @ 2.18am now, but i slept too much this noon that i cant sleep now ):*
.
.
today, came home from Zadaz's first Mushroom dinner,
which due to wet weather, became Engine TCC dinner hahhas!
.
i was late as usual ):
didnt mean to be THAT LATE though..
but had loads of fun.
.
camwhoring with indiv shots became my latest Zadaz-pastime,
ever since Sentosa outing lol!
*so i wont bore my posts with the millions of soloshots!*
.

.our very own Zimbre under the Stars.
my love (:
.
-i had my late dinner with their "Awesome" singing HAHAHS!
but the ambience was more than perfect with 2 guitarists, 1 lappie, and so many aspiring singers LOL ((:-
.
.
.

backtracking to Sunday night.
it was Grandma's birthday.
.
Aunt bluff us about the photoshoot & dressup thinggi...
but we decided to play along. (:
and had loads of fun!
.
this is the first time i camwhored so much with my cousins!!!
but the photos are in Joel's DSLR ):
.

the middle item is pan-seared FOIE GRAS.
my first (:
and awesomely done.
.
the wasabi mayo prawn on the right..
reminds me of my days @ Amara! hehs.
.

moving on to... FRIED DURIAN ICE-CREAM!!
reminds me of daddy a.k.a. Jared Arnold.
the fried ice-cream he promised, never came?? )):
.
-but this one's awesome like BBQ Marshmallow or Lava Cake!-

Grandma's cake!
mahjong tiles, 13 yao can... LOL

awwww. so shweeett!
seriously, this youngest & cutest cousin of mine..
is so hyperactive, camwhoring, and cute. HAHAAS!
.
but most imptly, he's practising how to jio girls already LOL!

.
.
.

before ahma's bday, which i had to rush down from Sentosa...
it was FO Mass Outing. the tradition.
.
the one i was so looking forward to LOL. (:
-when i was so sunburnt already!-

.Zadaz, just a bunch of 'em

the whole lot of us :D
.
-the crazy ones who were the first to arrive @ 9.30am
-the sweetest freshies with surprises every other time!
-the talented bunch with dunno-how-many guitarists can!!
.
inclusive of the hamsup gang, the camerafreaks & camwhorers, the bimbos etc.
.
.
.

and just before that, is Week Zero.
the reason im burnt! ):
so smart of HTM to sit on the track! :X

.

my dear partner, Choon Sze! (:
i thought we really worked well tgt! thumbs up :D

and my class 1HO3.
.
having joined Cheerleading for SL for the past 2 years,
i finally got the chance to feel how it is like to lead a class ((:
-thanks May, i know you kinda obliged to. for the sake of my last year. (:-
.
my class is a rather easy to hype bunch :D
-thank God! as my voice is already 80% gone by then!-
.
and honestly, also one of the most hyped up freshies. really.
i even was asked by another to help teach a game -.-
kindly helped with that favour..
.
but being the only year 3 in htm SL,
you kinda miss the feeling of how we once all chionged tgt.
i miss the Caesion/ Yushi era! )):
.
.
.

just in btwn FO & Wk O..

Random Girls' Dayout... can.
.
our initial plan was to eat lava cake at my work place.
and collect my pay. fullstop.
.
but it turned out that the restaurant wasnt open for dinner as there would be a private function -.-
.
so being ALREADY LATE.
went to collect my pay in holland.
and think of alternative place for Dinner.
as the 2 wait for me... :X
.
after many changes LOL.
we ended up meeting at RafflesCity.
and we had crepes for dinner @ Out of the Pan!
-super nice & filling!! :D-
.
.

i had black pepper beef, while wt had smoked ham.
jas had salmon -damn nice!-
and the 4th plate was duck..
.
1 for 1 :D:D
-awesome promo!-

.
.
.
then come SL CAMP!
this is Sodez. my last SL empire (:
.
this time SL camp.
i really dont know lehs.
i stayed through.
but the feeling is so damn diff.
.
year 3s all in prog.
except 1 or 2, like me??
.
and performance wasnt too bad.
but not very good either.
said my piece. sorta worked a miracle for that camp.
a pity it didnt last through Week Zero 2nd day.. :X
.
.

presenting to you, Sodez (:

.

.
.
that's all for updates!
.
===========================
.
.
THOUGHTS (:
.
Health been really bad.
bouts of cough like some tuberculosis terminal patient ):
and then none, for who knows why.
.
didnt see a doc,
feels like pipagao can solve it.
been having noodle soup. lol (:
.
.
Zilra bday.
a series of unfortunate events i'd say.
tired of explaining the whole thing to all those who asked what happened already.
but here goes.
.
if it werent for Ronald this Jan,
i would just let our last Ann. go...
last TPSU AGM, i knew Zilra's lifespan kinda ended...
and i let go already.
(that's why no more outings in the past year)
.
my style, i will always have many outings before a huge one.
becux i know these people damn well.
and how inactive people will feel outcasted.
its all psychology in the mind really.
.
then Ronald disappeared.
and Luffy came along...
and many ideas too...
.
opened the whole thing to other empires,
for fear that our own would shrink..
apparently, not as sociable anymore,
many decided against.
and my greatest fear, was my own clique. ):
.
oh wells, half my clique came in the end.
and lucky it was only Zilra that came..
if not, how awkward. ahhahas!
and we had fun still (:
only shitty thing, nobody brought camera!!! )):
.
goodbye Zilra.
every part of you will always be in my heart (:
.
.
FO 2010.
awesomest empire ever.
so love. and it's 2-way somemore!
.
only that it's sad that i didnt bond enough with my empire's gls.
FOW was spent like a crash course of that.
so much for work hehs.
but still, the only thing i missed out was the cliques.
not too bad. im glad things worked out (:
.
what i wanna say,
it's not just about our super sweet freshies.
.
but rather on our last FO...
it's just such an amazing closure..
every moment reminded me of how our freshie times were like.
.
the moment i stepped into OTC to know that im in Zadaz.
i knew that it was a walk down memory lane.
from Z to Z. and the no. of Zilraians in it!
.
the last day of FOC.
the pink shirts that the GLs wore,
were like the shirt we were as freshies!
as to the blue shirts that the Freshies had this year,
were exactly the same colour as our GLs!
-totally missed those times!-
.
although alot of tradition was lost, sadly ):
but just the school song & mass dance alone.
we couldnt hold back already. lol.
.
hehs, reminding me of us as freshies,
always wishing to dance with our eyecandies. lol!
and the most amazing thing is...
an incredible wish came true...
i got to dance the mass dance again with my GL,
also my ex-eyecandy who came back to see us grad!
hehehs! total nostalgia (:
.
oh wells, now the guys can only be didi-s..
considering they're all so so so much younger!
but they are really a fun group of freshies.
having randomly met Ba Chor Mee gang.
and not forgetting my Zadfyr bunch (:
and i simply love the random musical bunch as well!
we just started singing out of nowhere @ Sentosa.
and the group just grew, even with horrible singing in sexy voices ahhas!
.
as i move on to the next Z-empire, my last as well.
really hoped to have impacted freshies.
and one of the reasons i couldnt hold my tears,
was the feeling of wo men zhuo dao le.
the reason why im still in FO,
the very reason why my GLs came to welcome us freshies.
.
.
.
.
alright it's 4.30am.
i've been at this for coming 4-5hours??? :X
fb photos. checked.
blogpost photos. checked.
blogpost checked.
tired eyes. checked.
ongoing cough. checked.
.
down for interview as mgt trainee tmr @ OC.
let's pray for clear signs of open/closed doors.
and whatever it is, peace and wisdom in making my decision.
only God knows how frustrated i am.
.
.
.
Love Becca. (:
freed. simple joy. make me smile.

becca (: ♥ 2:01 AM


Wednesday, April 14, 2010
gahhhhs. KILL ME!!!

rawrrrrs!
i feel like slapping myself left and right!

i hate how i feel right now.
no motivation to do anything.
lazing around when i got so many things that i need to do.
and all i can do,
is wallow in my own pity.

OMG BECCA WAKE UP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!


maybe the service industry honed my acting skills,
just to topped it up. ):

im so good at acting busy, running away.
and smiling and having fun,
forgetting that one day i still have to clear the mess...
which eventually...
SNOWBALLS )):


i open the newspaper..
and i can totally feel my mood dive down..
oh wells, i only open it when my mum tells me to.
in hope of blind-groping for a job that i may like -.-

yeahs, for the record i saw a $2.1k Hotel 81 frontdesk.
how about that?
good pay, good placing.
WRONG PLACE. ):

sighs.. and each time people make me reply verbally to their conversation..
i totally get pissed for nothing.
basically, i've got no voice to reply -.-
so thanks sis, thanks ah ma..

and my sis just got a scolding from me for nth ):
when she asked how long it takes to get to Hougang..
like by mrt!?!?! when she can take 161?!!?
gahhs, i was like cant you check the net yourself? now that you've a lappie? like what's it for really??

i guess, pple ard me are so used to me being the source of answers,
some sort of can-depend on, since young.
and now when i crumble, i dont know where to go..
bcux i'm always the stronger one ):
i hate it now.


GAHS. so down in the dumps.
i dont even feel like going out for cg now..
like it does help staying at home to rot at all...

although baking did make me a tiny bit happier.
but still it doesnt solve any of my probs ):



STOP GRUMBLING BECCA!

becca (: ♥ 5:56 PM


Tuesday, April 13, 2010
so much to bloggg!

gahs i've got so much to bloggg..
so much to do..

but sleep came first LOL.
been sleeping truckloads.
at least 10hrs a day,
starting with a major 16hrs of coma LOL!!



THINGS TO DO
cum things in my mind to be done...

1) Attendance of Zilra ppls for 3rd Ann
im so bothered about it,
ranted to co-partner abt it.
but the saddest thing is,
my closest peeps can only say, take your "gang" out then?
when i was the one who started this at all! ):
i really want this to be a 'Happy Birthday'.
is it so hard?

2) BLOG ABOUT MY LAST FO!!
so so so many memories...
i totally miss my freshie times!
WHAT A CLOSURE...
it felt so weird but awesome to welcome the new freshies alongside my freshies of the past 2 years!
i'll never forget, my life in TP.
and the lovely peeps i met ((:

3) Apply for more jobs -.-
(i need some serious knocking of sense into my brain!!)
totally no motivation to find something better for myself than a life-less 1.5 yr!
even mummy is helping me, cracking her brains,
and all i can do is lazily give up JUST LIKE THAT! ):

4) all the laundry that's been piling up ):

5) photos un-uploaded.

6) dishes unwashed, as a result of baking lol!

7) a super unhealthy falling-sick body!! :X
my voice is just as bad ):


lastly, watch out for my bread&butter pudding that is baking in the oven right now!!
-not as easy as it seems though i thot it always was as i see chef do it lol!-

OOHS, its damn damn nice :D:D:D
shall bring some for jas & weiting later!
can accompany our Lava cake dessert?? :D



Love Becca (:

becca (: ♥ 2:48 PM


Sunday, April 04, 2010
Zilra.

TO ZILRA FRESHIES & GLS OF 07/08!!

I DONT CARE HOW SOME OF US HAVE BEEN SO INACTIVE/ DRIFTED AWAY WHILE OTHERS ARE STILL CONTIRBUTING TO THE UPCOMING FO 10/11! Fact remains, you guys have once played a part in bringing us together. to make this memory. and all i ask from you guys. is to go with your heart. and put aside your differences and cliques. i know some may feel awkward or something. like you might not know everybody there. truth is, everybody dont know everybody! please. let this be our graduating memory. come if you can come. it wont be possible in a another year. let us make history.

sincerely,
Becca (:

.

.

.

damn it!

i just want to have a happy Zilra bday.

with or without the others...

.

.

i didnt freaking mean it to become a mass fo outing,

and freaking lose my Zilra peeps.

who thinks that they dont know anybody,

and come for what.

.

it would definitely be nice to reunite as an FO again.

but when people insults which empire should or should not be named tgt.

not only issit CHILDISH.

.

i would say, i reckon have Zilra alone.

all to ourselves.

.

sighs.

i played a role in it,

though i dare say i didnt start this.

SO WHAT IF IM THE FREAKING CREATOR OF THE PAGE?!

what does it say to you??

.

sighs.

maybe i should just kept quiet.

and pretend everythings good.

.

im so tired of all this.

.

can i just have Zilra for the last time?

for my last memory?

.

if i tell you, Clique was the reason, the courage i had to bring Zilra tgt again..

and what if Clique doesnt come?

should i still? >.<

.

.

.

Love Becca. ):

it makes me sad. really sad.

becca (: ♥ 9:52 PM



PEK CHEK!!!

gahhs. i guess i've got more than enough for today.
some things i simply cannot blog it out!!

how frustrating!!!


my day went like this. (Sunday)


CHURCH.
supposed to attend Easter service @ NCC with Han & Jas.
but failed lol.
becux we never check service place & timing lol...
damn lame.

breakfast-ed and i hopped down to BPJ..
was late though.
the couple didnt wanna join due to other commitmts.

met Char-dajie & Galv there!
made my day a little (:

ZADAZ.
then hopped back to town for hair extension as identity.
for a really brief meetup..

MANDAI.
then cabbed down to meet maternal relatives.
was quite sian that the rest was LATE.. -.-
and i freaking CABBED DOWN @ $15!!!!!

thanks to mum's usual technique to make me early..

today i was EARLY everywhere i went cannn!!!
but for nothing )):

dinner-ed & home-ed..



=======THOTS========

gahhhsss!!!!!!!!!! rawwrrrr!!!
i just wanna screeeaaammm!!!
yet i cannot reveal.
for the sake of so many things...
wth. ):

by right.
if i wanna sleep enough..
i dont have time to blog now):
but seeing something that shocks me,
i really cannot take it ):


and just some hours ago.
omg. i felt so cheated.
was it for YOU? or for ***??
OMG.

i felt so sandwiched.
totally didnt show it,
dont know how to show it,
didnt wanna spoil things.
fine.

but i cried like shit afterwards.
like who cares? and how does that help ):




wth.wth.wth.wth.
i regret big time.
BIG TIME R*****

i still rembr in SICC.
we were msging each other..
trying to convince me not to give up our last bday.
JANUARY 2010!!

i was considering so hard.
becux i didnt plan for this.
and i know it would be hard.

we had that deal.
i know you wouldnt hold your end.
but i still put my heart mind soul into it.
to FREAKING MAKE THIS POSSIBLE!
where were you??
i dont even see you ass pls!

then you coward out, mia yourself..
nevermind, at least you gave me a partner to deal with it.
then till April. finally some shit is out..
still 90% is by ME!!!
-so not my style for last-min if you know me-

then just by one idea.
i was not for it. really.
i just didnt have the firmness to decline.
damn regret it.

JUST ONE FREAKING IDEA.
it was suppose to be exclusive.
not make things fall apart.
and let others criticise...
WHERE WERE YOU IN THIS!?
i see none of your ass either.

i dont give a shit if it becomes a mass outing.
but i do, if others ruin what we make beautiful..

sighs.
i really dont know how to salvage this alrd.

when i sent out that msg last night to everyone.
whether they read or not..
it was the last straw.



Love Becca.
a day of disappointment.

becca (: ♥ 9:27 PM


Saturday, April 03, 2010
updates: SL camp ++

life's been pretty hiong. hahahs.
im sick now ):
still got the cheek to laugh >

it's fun. for awhile.
and then i know i'll die out :X
but what a timing when FO is nearing..

sighs. today...
i kena scolded by alot of people.
for not taking care of myself.
[my fam, clique, fb pple, msn etc.]


======UPDATES=======


SL CAMP 3d2n

i was quite disappointed actually.
when i knew that most of the yr3s were all in prog.
and i refrained myself from doing so initially.
becux i knew SL needed me ):

not just about the fun i missed..
i knew i couldnt commit. fine.

but how cui it actually is. ):

still. tried to make the most of it.
including forfeiting the meetup with a friend to go UNLV for a visit.

my empire is Sodez.
was damn late for 1st day..
bcux i was too tired after work previously :X

everything pretty normal actually.
but surprisingly i spoke my mind every instant in camp. lol.
be it bitching through feedbacks or telling my empire off at their most comfortable moments.

honestly, i wasnt giving my all either.
but i felt that whatever had to be done was done at least (:

i really hope Week Zero wouldnt bring up Stupid Leaders.
but Synergy Leaders this year.



TRIO OF EVENTS..

i had so many events piling up within the next 3days..
that i decided to link them up in a 3d2n stayover..

like a wanderer...
oh wells, but at least i sleep more..
than i would if i were to come home..

FIRSTLY.
met up SIP mates for bbq cum nightcycling..
cum Elaine's little bday surprise (:

the night was awesome with food and all..
then biked down to changi village for random desserts..
and checking out the bapoks lol.

then heading back IN THE RAIN!
freezing cold.. ):

then playing Balderdash in the wee morning..
which really stretched our tired brain cells,
and showed the way our brains work HAHAS!
like Seb-by muahhahahs! :X

and a GRUMPY becca when we had to bike to Macs for breakft.
i was damn pissed cuz i was tired. LOL. ):

afterwhich, hopped over to Kleon's house.
where i bathed & snoozed for a few hours..
before i cabbed to TP for Zadaz refresh.
oops. i was late again :P

SECONDLY.
Zadaz refresh. okay lor.
just that 20 stations in a few hours can kill!
my subempire totally had no motivation to RUN under the SUN!!
and we made the rest wait for us oops!! :X

sighs. they were made to memorise the locations of the stations.
what's the point?
really. what Han said was correct.
we're losing focus these days..
what's our main purpose of FO!??! really. ):
pls say. freshies.

THIRDLY.
afterwhich, went over to Han's hse the moment Jas called (:
they taught me to play mahjong lol.
with a braindead becca,
but i understood okay!

stayover was fun as usual.
but i was more often coughing & sneezing & sleeping then not.
LOL, too tired already.
finally collapsed..

i slept the longest,
woke up the earliest.

brunch-ed at downtown east..
Buddy Hoagies is a damn awesome place ((:

was seriously intending to hop over to sch for SL Teaparty!
but clique was so whiny & naggy..
asking me to go home..

and so we chatted and chatted..
for so long that before we knew it,
it was already 4pm ):
and i couldnt go already...

cabbed home, totally thrashed, with Jr & Ser.
slept like a pig on the sofa..
AND FORGOT ABOUT THE EASTER PFMCE I WANTED TO WATCH )))):
so disappointing ):

woke up only in time to eat dinner.
before i went into stoning mode again.


=======THOTS=======


FO07/08 Mass Outing.

i really didnt intend it to be like that.
i wanted exclusive.
i dont know which part of exclusive did my brain not understand,
when i finally gave in to the suggestion of my co-organiser )):

i was regretting it so badly as i gathered response over SL camp & Clique.
sighhhhs.
can i undo it?
should i undo it?

it makes me frown so badly.
can i still save it?

i really want to make this the best.
becux i know it'll be the last.




Love Becca (=

becca (: ♥ 11:55 PM