Sunday, May 22, 2011
mid may syndrome.

omggg. time sure FLIEEESSS!
i cant believe im approaching my 8th month with the bank by this JUNE!


WORK.

oh wells. this month is really chaotic.
it marked my 3rd discrep.
incredibly within 6 months...
i dont know how i'd hang on for the next 6 months bef i get kicked out instead!!

*had one of my most confused and low points at work too during this month*

but i kinda got it sorted out...
im paid enough not to grumble.
should not be greedy about getting bonus. tsk!
in 2 mths, i wldve recoup my loss for my luxurious expenditure on my 21st anw..

so what's the fuss! tsk :X
aft all i wont stay long either!
*trying to look on the brighter side!* :X

that reminds me.
becoming the about-to-be seniorest among my peers...
is not such a good idea for a 7-mther..
stress like shit, responsibilities piling up,
people looking at how you perform. the example. :X

*while i kinda like challenges and to challenged.
i give up quite easily if i dont have the confidence too.*

at the same time,
recently been having quite a bit of diff in opinions with my line mgr ):
the latest one is about writing minutes.
i swear its the littlest things that irritates.
oh wells!

*i am the sort of person, who if need to get something done, i'll willingly do out of my workhrs too (e.g. TODAY)
but sometimes some things that others say, just make you dont wanna chiong so hard for them anymore.

WHAT FOR??

never appreciated at all.

*perhaps coming from an fnb bgd. teamwork is what i treasure most, and what i'll put all my heart, mind, soul into.
but sometimes if a team leader doesnt sure example, the others wont reciprocate either.
and you just get one very drained soul. sighs. nevermind that.

*but if a team leader doesnt even believe in it,
it's doomed for her team.

*oh wells, i got scolded for thinking of customers. it's lack on my part for some compliance issues.
she didnt even try to allow some rationale on my point of view of service. FINE.
-it felt like i disappointed her when i was only trying to help-

so IN CONCLUSION.
like what the world does in the market place.
save your ass first, heck the others.
it's a selfish place, a rigid ball game.

i've learned my lesson, and i wont forget that's what you taught me.
i miss my own industry so much now. ):
it's not totally like that in there.


===================


the prep 4 my 21st.

after garnering some mental security of my finances...
due to the high probability of not getting bonus... :X

and after loads of support and advice from my dear friends...
(i'd say opposition was more, but it's what keeps me going? rofl.)

i've decided.
to proceed (:

quite a few said, it sounds like a wedding...
(and i kinda hate it when ppl say that)
(or perhaps they've never tried planning anything for themselves bef, or much less others?)

anyway, people talked me down when they said its impossible to save so much to go Aussie too.
but i know i can do it, just believe and plan it with success in mind. (:

oh wells,
and so thanks to dearest JBT who came to my rescue.
(honestly, i never ever thought about asking ppl to help me, they just came & did! loves!)

met up with them, mostly WT.
to discuss & meet the events coordinator quite a few times!

finally settled with the initial deposit last last weekend.
IM SO HAPPY!
it's like a burden of thoughts of decision-making/ processing. finally ended! :D
(wt knows me best!)

went shopping ard with Scand for materials/ decor,
and bought the masks too, at sgd120!~
it's early i know hahahas!

to date, i've already spent SGD 1366!!
tsk. using my supp card.
and paying dad back last night.
broke immediately when pay came in! ahhahas.

everything is in drafts tsk.
my guest list, is like procrastinatingly unposted :S
i suppose to get it down like TODAY.
shall figure something out tonight...
sighs. i dont know who to invite, and who to let go...
*thanks to my budgetary & physical capacity!!

and i still trying to bargain for corkage waivers,
and im simply super not good at it.
HOW!? tell me how??

but im so happy i bought the major stuff already,
cake's on the way, by Elaine :D
and decor is half bought.
reception stuff more or less there, except the table cloth!
door drapes are cluelessly in the air...
catering needs more drinks discussion??
other admin/ log stuff needed... tsk.

excited!

I NEED A DRESS.... HOW!?
but i dont wanna spend a single cent extra alrddd...

i need a final wishlist.... too!
the things i want is not available.
the things im not sure of, needs me going down personally.


JIAYOU!!


=======================


anw 3 more days of work,
and i wont be in SINGAPORE alrd :D

going on Breakthrough weekend from thurs to Sun.
near the borders luhs. (:





Love Becca (:
can you please stop painting such a beautiful but EMPTY picture of me... ):
im not as perfect as you think i am.
and i cant be like what you think i am.

becca (: ♥ 1:06 PM


Sunday, May 08, 2011
THIS WEEK... short but eventful!

shortest week in my entire work life ever imagined!!
4 day work week cheers! :D

but EVENTFUL indeed!



tiring Saturday!
long weekend for Labour day...
met up with Lesbo partner!
and of all places at Bugis...
she wanted to eat Lenas!!
our budget was $20 per pax.
but we only spent $22 for 2 persons bcux the portion size is SO BIG!!

went to colleague's wedding, and an eyeopener to a malay wedding's behind the scenes indeed!
nice food :D


Sunday was rotting day?
but had a nice time running with daddy to a random dinner place in our neighbourhood...
having our dinner,
and then chatting as we walk back (:
*likes*


PH Monday...
went out to People's park with mum & dad...
bought some toiletries (random)
then went to find the shop which quoted me a good price for masquerade masks for my 21st.
*see whether the quote is still valid, and it is!! so happy!*
50pieces (nice quality ones) for $100!!!

then we went to rot @ Marina Sq,
and had mini steamboat dinner at Hotpot culture :D nice!
and CHEAP!

==================

Tuesday, so-called doomsday...
sat strategically at LPO...
freaking out already...
becux i had to count church's money...
and when i was mentally prepared that im NOT going to sit LPO as planned!! )):

ironically,
it's NOT EVERYBODY'S doomsday... (not as busy as 29th apr's hell day!)
but it was MY DOOMSDAY ))):

unhappy loads
sad max
cry loads.
to myself though ):

fb status spam loads ):

it was my 3rd discrep and the worst one so far...
one more time and im prepared to go Australia RIGHTAWAY!!!
i was so damn pessimistic and sad.
that no one can say anything to cheer me up ):

becux my 21st bday and luxurious wants of learning another skill and all...
and studying in Australia dreams...
all depended on this job!!!
and my BONUS!
omg. i nearly died!

*but at least i didnt cry at work this time!! :X

sighs. my officer still has high hopes on me ):
but subsequently im seated at the outside counters, non-premier queue that relieved a lot of stress (:
made me a happy girl :D


====================


basically the rest of the week is about window shopping with diff people...
dinnering at home...

and finally, yesterday SATURDAY
met WT :D
for the appointment with the Ksuites guy to plan my 21st bday...
i found him quite lousy in directing and advising my plans...
but at least i got to see the quotations for the catering (:

but oh wells,
he already handed over his duties to yet another person!
2nd time alreadyyy of change of hands!

but dont get me wrong,
he's a really nice person,
teaching me how to work around the negotiation...
too bad the next person is a girl ):
* hard to negotiate with females!!

honestly speaking, i was really very insecure about everything ever since Tuesday..
nearly going nuts, spoilt my mood to plan my bday alrd ):

but thank God there's WT to help me out ((:
her advice on everything, rooms, budget etc :D

although this is more draggy than i thought,
but i really hope to liaise with the next events person by Tues,
settle the booking and the package by next Sunday...
sounds rushed, but i dont like last minute things, if its really impt to me!

and that reminds me...
OUR DISCUSSED DEADLINE for invitations is TODAY! :X

okay, off to get it doneee! :X




me and my Tetris is driving me nuts!!!
such a left brain thing muahahhas...
and its making me see tetris everywhereee! :X




i need some motivation!
proper one.




i hope this does not change things..
but if i have to, i will have to... :X




yesterday while stalking Jaslynn @ Nex...
i spent almost 2 hours of me-time @ her teadot cafe...
staring into space..
thinking about everything that i can think of, and hadnt had the time to think about.
this is the first time someone had to snap me out of my thoughts..
not once, but TWICE!!!
with tears in my eyes somemore omg.
but it felt awesome (:
*to unwind all my thoughts (:

it's still there...

somehow, although i have managed to kill every bit of my feelings..
but seriously a wonder how each and every memory still bears pain.
it hurts to think how crazy i was,
how i got the courage the strength to do something i ordinarily cannot.
how much i actually loved you with every bit of strength i have.
it was crazy, it was stupid. it was not worth it.
it is gone. it is over. it will never happen again.





Love Becca (:

becca (: ♥ 12:44 PM


Monday, May 02, 2011
updates (:

month of april has just said good bye... (:


time really flies...
bef i know it,
this is alrd my 6th month with the bank ...

my duties have increased/ changed alot too...
couple of seniors have left...
Tues (TMR) is doomsday.
i hope i can actually have time to eat & swallow my food.
*with the fact that im not too stressed to eat properly... :X

Last Friday is a peek into tmr...
it was hell crazy.
that i cannot believe my eyes.
also a test of endurance and gunghoness ):



im glad that im in this job,
i have a life.
a different kinda life (:
i get to meet the people i wanna meet.
i get to experience a diff type of frontline.
i get extra cash, such that i overspend :X

God is Good!
He provided when i overspent >.<

thanks to May's govt money of $600...
im able to survive (;

and yet i dont need to vote!
hahahs, i feel like a freeloader :X
a legal one. LOL.


====================


WORK

politics only revolve ard one person a minority now.
i pray i dont become one of the gossipmongers. :X

the impossible one, has left (: cheers!

and they've been pushing me to more responsibilities since 2 just left in the prev wk!
kinda still adapting.
but glad to say, surviving..

actually not just me,
but my dear colleague diana & daniel too..
it's abit too fast, i hope we can hang in there tgt (:


==================

Getting a Life..

i feel like a slacker sometimes,
even though im so exhausted lol.

but im happy to catch up with my diff clique/ circles of friends (:
not very often, but still quite regular i'd say (:

at least i still managed to go back to TP
to visit FO and week O and see my freshies grad ((:

i'd say i have a life.


==================


Eyecandies..

are starting to feel like a thing of the past :X

both are attached.
both are so distant.
both are acquaintances.


==================


Rotting has become my inevitably fav pastime!
as long as nobody jios me out...
even from now, as i peek into the month...
i've got a couple of dates..
enough to make me broke...
but i still have a bit too many free days :x LOL

*too free is also a prob :X*




for some reason, i cant seem to get my ass onto the piano chair...
i stare at it everyday...
but it seems like a stranger these days ):
*sad aint it ):


chatting with you...
started out as really random.
but in these past weeks.

to me:
you're just a really good online friend, whom i've never met bef, but can click.
and i really dont have online friends like that, not for that little childish pranks in sec sch..
but it's nice chatting with you, i just hope. it's not excessive.
i just thought it would be nice to have a bff..
i hope there's nothing else behind it, that would change everything.

i hope you get it. :X

*shit that's fast, you're msning me like rightaway =.=*


during our chat last night...
it really made me think back about everything that happened to clique in the past 3 years...
just by looking at my msn dp...
it sent tears down ):

how we started out.
how we became a clique
how we used to be.
the stuff we used to do tgt.
how it was like to be the becca that clique knows me during those 3 years, that im not/ can never be again now..

how we are now.
how we are trying very hard to be a clique still.
how things have changed..
how times are diff.
how me and you are diff now.
how silly i was.
how real it was.
how deep it was.
how sad it was.

i realised i couldnt bear to think back.
i have been blocking those memories out so much, so as to make sure i can move on...
and now its time to face it all i guess?
it really sent tears.
those were times most impt to me,
both friendship and what not.



Love Becca.

becca (: ♥ 11:36 AM